


Endings and Beginnings 2

by hergerbabe



Series: Endings and Beginnings [2]
Category: Smallville
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alien Biology, Alien Technology, Ghost Sex, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Reasonable stopping point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-07-22
Updated: 2001-07-22
Packaged: 2017-11-10 11:48:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/465934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hergerbabe/pseuds/hergerbabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clark can't get over Lex's death. Especially as he can sometimes feel his presence. Is grief driving him mad?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Endings and Beginnings 2

**Author's Note:**

> Posting old fic by request

Pairing: CLex  
Rating: NC-17  
Category: Angst, romance, AU  
Notes: sequel to Endings and Beginnings, This takes place after DUPLICITY and leads up to an AU version of SKINWALKER, however, because Lex died, it is an AU, Lionel wasn't in Smallville during the tornado so he was never blinded, he didn't get rid of the plant and Martha never worked for him.  
Warnings: Lex died in the first story  
Summary: Clark mourns, is he going mad?  
For Raijahn, for getting so excited, and Sparkle, for helping me sort out the story

It had been two months since Lex had... since Lex had passed. Two months of increasing self-torture for Clark. Every night he dreamed of Lex, every morning he woke to the warmth of being enfolded in his beloved's arms, only to have the feeling dissipate along with sleep.

And it was killing him, because he missed Lex so much and nobody knew, nobody understood. Well, his mother knew, but she certainly didn't understand; couldn't understand how much he'd loved and been loved.

He knew his parents, Chloe and Pete were increasingly worried about his progressive withdrawal from life, but really Clark couldn't bring himself to care. When he daydreamed, when he managed to reach that state of semi-consciousness, that was when he could feel Lex's presence. He knew deep down that if it were possible, Lex would have stayed with him and sometimes it felt as though he had.

The only time he was happy, well, almost happy, nowadays was when he imagined he could actually feel Lex beside him, arms wrapped round him. Sometimes, Clark even thought he could smell Lex, the slightly musky, sweet citrus scent he could remember from before his love had only smelt of sickness and death. Early in the mornings, if he was lucky, Clark sometimes imagined that he heard Lex's voice telling him everything was okay, that he was still with him and that he loved him. It was the only thing that made Clark smile anymore.

Wandering away from the farm now his chores were done, Clark made his way to the bank by the river. Where Lex had died the first time, but where he'd been able to save him.

He lay back and closed his eyes, trying to relax a little. "I wish you were here. I think I'm going to miss you forever, Lex. Will it hurt this much forever?" He squeezed his eyes tighter shut against his tears.

"... re, Clark... if... you c... hear..."

Sucking in a breath of shock, Clark froze. "Lex?" he breathed, and opened his eyes. For a split second through the slight blur of tears, Clark saw a hazy image of his best friend standing in front of him. "Lex!" Clark reached out, only to find himself alone again. "Oh God," he gasped, choking on a sob. Clark rolled up into a ball, clutching at his chest. "Why are you doing this to me?!" he screamed. "Why?" Tears poured down his face as he coiled tighter around himself, trying to stop himself from shaking.

"Love y... won't leave... try..."

Clark frowned. Lex's voice was clearer than he'd ever heard it, even in his dreams, yet cut off, like a bad phone connection. He wiped his face and uncurled.

"Lex?" he whispered, "Try what?" He glanced round hopefully, "Lex?" A faint touch to his neck had Clark whirling round. It was out of the corner of his eye, right on the edge of his vision, that Clark caught a glimpse of his friend. "Oh my God," he gasped, "You're really here."

"Try... hear..." Lex's voice whispered in his ear.

Maybe all the feelings, the scent, Lex's voice... maybe it hadn't been his imagination. It was a tiny spark of hope, but Clark clung to it in desperation. "I'll try," he said quietly.

@>*~

Clark sighed in frustration. He'd been down at the riverbank every day since hearing Lex and he was desperate to be able to hear his best friend properly, but so far it wasn't happening. "It's not working," he whispered, almost close to tears.

"Try harder, God damn it, I can't take much more of this," Lex snapped.

Clark sucked in a breath of pure shock, it was the clearest he'd ever heard Lex. "I heard that."

"Pardon?"

"I heard that too," Clark said quietly. "What can't you take much more of?" There was a long silence and Clark wondered if maybe he'd lost it again.

"The loneliness," Lex sighed quietly. "I've been by your side since I... and I haven't been able to do _anything_ , except watch you fade away."

"Lex," Clark paused uncertainly, the pain in Lex's voice hurting him immeasurably, "What, what happened? I mean, when you..."

Lex laughed bitterly, "You told me you loved me, on my death bed, Clark. Do you have any idea how wonderful and how awful that was?"

Clark swallowed against a sudden tightening in his throat and nodded. "Probably about as wonderful as hearing that you loved me and awful as then having to hear you stop breathing," he whispered.

"Clark," Lex breathed, "I'm so sorry. I wish, I wish you'd told me before, so I could have at least had that small amount of time to love you."

"But you're still here," Clark said quietly, then his eyes widened in pain, "You're not going to leave me again, are you?"

"No!" Lex exclaimed, "Never. Clark, I refused to move onto the next plane to stay with you, I'm not going to leave you." He sighed, "But it was so hard, Clark, all this time, to be with you and watch you, to have to watch you go through this alone."

Clark started to cry. It had been the most painful time of his life, losing Lex, but the thought of Lex having been there, watching him, unable to comfort and take comfort... alone in his death, that was too much for Clark to bear. "I'm sorry, Lex," he sobbed, "I'm so sorry."

"Me too," Lex whispered, sounding as though he might be crying himself. "God, I wish I could hold you, so that we could both feel it."

Clark wished it too, with all his heart. Even if Lex was a ghost, he needed him so much. There was a tiny feeling of pressure around his shoulders and Clark knew it was Lex. It wasn't really enough, but it was all they had. At least Lex wasn't alone anymore. "I still love you, Lex," Clark whispered, "I'll always love you."

"I'll always love you too, Clark," Lex replied, "I'm going to stay with you, I promise."

@>*~

"Come on, Lex, spill," Clark murmured under his breath.

"I'm not helping you cheat on your history quiz, Clark," Lex said firmly.

"Spoilsport." Clark pouted and did the begging, puppy eyes just in case Lex was in front of him.

"Fine," Lex sighed, "The answers you're missing are 1492, Marco Polo, the Chinese and Salem, Massachusetts."

Clark smiled. "Thanks," he whispered. He felt a pat on his shoulder and sighed happily. Another month had passed since Clark had first really heard Lex at the riverbank. So much had happened since then, they'd talked constantly, still did because Clark just couldn't help it, even when other people were around. He didn't want Lex to ever feel alone again. Clark still hadn't been able to see Lex properly, just the occasional glimpse out of the corner of his eyes. But he could hear him, talk to him and it made all the difference in his life. The occasional touch he felt was even better.

"Oh, and you spelt Massachusetts wrong."

Clark frowned at his paper. "Oh, damn." He quickly added an extra 't'. Finally finished, Clark stood and handed it to the teacher, before leaving the room. It was the last class, which meant an early escape. With any luck, he could get away before Chloe and Pete got out.

"Okay, Lex, what shall we do today?" he asked, sighing happily.

"Shouldn't you spend some time with your friends?" Lex asked.

Clark stopped abruptly. "Wh-what?"

Lex sighed audibly, "I feel bad, Clark. You spend so much time with me, you barely see them."

"That's funny, Lex," Clark snapped, "Seeing as how I don't see you at _all_."

"But I'm always here," Lex whispered. "Please, Clark, they're worried about you, and I'll be right by your side, you know that."

Clark pressed his lips together, feeling guilty. It was true, he had been neglecting his other friends, first because they just hadn't understood the extent of his mourning, and then because he was spending so much time trying to connect with his dead love. "Promise you'll stay with me?" Clark asked.

"I'm always with you, Clark. Haven't left your side since I died," Lex said lightly.

A sudden thought occured to Clark and he grimaced. "Even when I go to the bathroom?"

"I don't love you _that_ much, Clark. Watching you in the shower is fun though."

Clark couldn't help flushing and he shook his head. "I used to like watching you sleep." He sighed, "It took away the tension and stress, made you look so young."

"Ah, Clark, you're such a romantic," Lex laughed.

"Maybe," Clark replied.

"Maybe what, Clark?"

Clark span round and smiled nervously at Chloe. "Um, nothing. Want to go to The Talon?"

" _You_ want to go to The Talon?" she squeaked.

Shrugging, Clark replied, "Yeah, that's okay, isn't it?"

"Yes!" Chloe said quickly, "I just... you haven't... it's been ages."

"I know, I'm sorry." Clark grimaced, then smiled when Pete joined them, "It was pointed out to me that while I was wallowing in self pity, I was neglecting my friends."

"Oh, Clark, we understand," Chloe looked sad and happy at the same time. "Well, maybe not Pete." She elbowed the other boy, grinning at him, "But I do."

"Thanks guys," Clark said with a smile. "Let's go."

"Cool, man." Pete nodded.

Clark fell into step just behind the pair. "Lex?" he whispered.

"I'm here," Lex said with a fleeting touch to his hand.

Sighing, Clark speeded up a little so he was walking beside his friends. If only he could feel Lex more, he could hold his hand and nobody would even know. Sitting in a booth opposite Chloe and Pete, Clark could have sworn he felt the press of lean thigh against his for a second and he grinned.

"So, how are you, Clark?" Chloe asked quietly.

"I'm... getting there," Clark replied with a sigh, "I missed him so much I couldn't think about anything else, I'm sorry, guys."

"What? You don't miss me now?" Lex whispered.

"You're here now," Clark mumbled under his breath.

"True."

"Did you say something?" Pete asked with a frown.

"Uh, no, nothing." Clark blinked innocently at his two friends. "So, come on, let's catch up. Tell me what I've missed lately."

Clark sat back with a smile, listening to his two oldest friends talk, arguing over details, laughing over jokes. Of course, Lex's little interjections had him hard pushed to keep from laughing inappropriately on occasion.

"Clark!"

Clark froze at the squeal. "Uh, hi, Lana."

"It's been so long, how _are_ you?" she asked, sliding in next to him.

"How rude," Lex muttered.

Feeling something shift in his lap, Clark gasped quietly. "I'm fine, thanks Lana. Excuse me for a moment." He turned his head, "Lex, are you sitting on me?" he whispered, pretending to cough.

"Yes, yes I am." Lex sounded quite pleased with himself.

"Oh, okay." Clark swallowed and squirmed slightly. He turned back. "Sorry."

The others looked a little confused but Lana smiled. "That's okay, Clark. It's so good to see you in here, you know. I know just how you feel losing someone close. When my parents died..."

Clark bit back a laugh when Lex groaned loudly. "How does she always bring it back to herself and her parents?" Lex sighed.

Sitting back, Clark just listened, smiling and nodding, making the odd comment. It _was_ nice to see his friends again, but he was a little distracted. As he sat in the booth, the pressure of weight on his thighs started to become quite distinctive. When he put his hand down, Clark suddenly found it resting on a knee. Not his own knee and definitely not Lana's knee.

"Lex?" he whispered, "Is that you?"

"Clark?" Lana blinked at him inquiringly.

"Sorry, nothing." Clark shook his head. She nodded and carried on talking.

"You're touching _me_ , Clark," Lex said, sounding surprised, "You're resting your hand on my knee."

Clark moved. "Um, Lana, excuse me, please."

"Sure." She got up and let him out. Clark hurried to the bathroom as quickly as he could without looking stupid. A quick scan showed he was on his own and Clark leaned back against the wall. 

"Lex?"

"I'm here."

He sighed, "Lex, could you feel that?"

"Oh yes," Lex replied slowly. "I didn't think I'd be able to. I was hoping maybe that you'd be able to feel _me_ eventually, but I... I wasn't expecting..."

"But this is good, isn't it?" Clark asked in confusion.

"As long as you don't mind me trying to touch you _all_ the time." He heard Lex chuckle as he flushed.

"A-all the time?" he squeaked, then jumped when he felt a hand on his ass. "Lex!" Clark hissed, "Just not too much in public, please?"

"Well, I'll try, but I make no guarantees," Lex replied.

Clark smiled. "Maybe I'll be able to see you properly eventually. I miss your face."

"I know," Lex sighed, "Maybe you will."

Feeling a gentle brush over his lips, Clark smiled again. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Yo, Clark, what you doing in there?" Pete hammered on the door before coming in. He cocked an eyebrow, "Clark? You okay?"

"Yeah," Clark sighed, "Just Lana getting on my nerves."

"Mmm, funny how everything always gets back to her and her dead parents," Pete snarked.

Snorting quietly, Clark gently slapped Pete's shoulder, "Come on, man, I have to go now anyway. I'd better say goodbye."

"Sure." Pete nodded and Clark followed him back out.

"I thought you were going to spend some time with your friends," Lex said behind him.

Clark shrugged. "Yeah, till Lana showed up," he whispered. Pete stopped right in front of him and Clark nearly ploughed right into him. "Whoa, watch it, Pete."

Turning to look up at him, Pete raised an eyebrow. "Dude, why do you keep whispering?"

"Uh," Clark swallowed, glancing past Pete to the door. "Um, just... no reason. Gotta go." He bolted, waving at Chloe and Lana on his way out.

"Smooth, Clark, real smooth," Lex snickered.

"Shut up," Clark huffed, "I'm not going to ignore you, am I? Took me long enough to be able to _hear_ you." Frowning, Clark took a quick look round, then speeded off for the riverbank. He sat in his usual spot under the bridge. "Sorry, Lex."

"That's okay," Lex said quietly, "I know how hard my dying was on you, I was there. But you know it was pretty damn hard for me not being able to comfort you."

"Yeah," Clark sighed, "I know. And now I almost have you back, I can't help it, Lex. I want to see you, touch you, smell you..."

"Clark." A touch to his cheek made Clark stop and he closed his eyes, trying to make the feeling last.

"Oh Lex," he breathed, "I'm sorry, it's just that sometimes, almost having you is nearly as much torture as not having you."

"You think I don't feel the same way?" Lex asked. "Since I died, the only thing that's mattered to me, is you. I want to be able to look into your eyes and know you're looking into mine."

Leaning his head back against the bridge wall, Clark opened his eyes again. There was a Lex-shaped shadow just beside him, but he knew that if he looked round, it would disappear, as always.

"You had such beautiful eyes," Clark sighed, "Blue, clear blue flecked with silver. So full of emotion and depth, intelligence and humour... sometimes." His eyes stung suddenly and Clark pressed his lips together to hold back a sob. "When you didn't try to hide the fact that you had... _have_ feelings," Clark whispered.

"Had to," Lex said quietly, "Self defence you see. First against my father and his world, and then against you."

"Me?" Clark asked, almost turning in surprise. He stopped himself just in time, not wanting to lose the shadowy figure to his side. "Why hide from me?" he breathed, swallowing back his tears.

"I loved you too much, Clark," Lex sighed, "It scared the crap out of me, especially because I thought you could never feel the same way."

"I did though," Clark whispered, "I do."

"I know."

Clark felt a soft caress on his hair, almost like the breeze but more solid. And he wanted more. It made him feel guilty that he still missed Lex, even though he knew his best friend was with him.

"Clark."

Clark closed his eyes and breathed out heavily, concentrating. Fingertips traced lightly over his brow, down his nose and then over his lips. "Oh Lex," Clark murmured. There was sudden pressure against his mouth and, as he relaxed into it, Clark could finally feel the texture of Lex's lips, somehow soft and warm. Tentatively, Clark lifted his hand and brought it up in front of his face. His fingers brushed silk just for a moment and Lex gasped.

"My God, Clark, oh my God, I can feel you."

"Me too," Clark whispered, "I could even feel the scar on your lip."

"Maybe... maybe, given some more time it'll feel more real. Like talking to each other," Lex said, an edge of excitement in his voice.

"I guess we'll just have to keep practising then," Clark couldn't resist saying, a smirk playing about his lips.

"Why, you know, I think you're right," Lex sighed, "I'll just have to keep touching you and kissing you until we can both feel it fully and consistently." 

A prickle of warmth spread through Clark's groin at the thought of Lex touching him. His breath hitched and he reached out as heat spread through his body. "Kiss me again," he breathed.

"Clark," Lex whispered, a faint hint of breath brushing Clark's cheek. It was as if he could feel the weight of Lex's body against him all of a sudden and Clark moaned quietly, belly tightening with need. As Lex's lips became more defined on his, Clark felt the heat build up and suddenly it seemed to blast out of his eyes.

"Oh fuck," Clark gasped, watching the grass on the opposite bank catch fire.

"What the hell?" Lex exclaimed. "Clark, what was... was that you?"

Clark leapt over the river and quickly put out the fire. "I think so," he said nervously. He blinked rapidly, his eyes felt strange, but it wasn't the same as when he'd developed the X-ray, wasn't the blinding pain and dizziness, just a burning sensation.

"Wow, I mean I know I'm hot," Lex muttered.

"Not funny, Lex," Clark grimaced and sank down to the ground, "Oh God, I could have... Lex, I could have hurt you."

"No, Clark," Lex said firmly, "Calm down, I'm already dead, you don't have to worry."

Clark scrunched up his face in pain. "Thanks for the reminder," he whispered. God, how much of a freak was he?

"You're not a freak," Lex snapped.

Clark blinked, apparently he'd spoken aloud, and he sighed, "Yeah right," he mumbled, "If you'd been alive, I might have killed you myself. What am I going to do, Lex, I can't set things on fire every time you kiss me, what kind of a sex life will we have?"

"Planning on a sex life already, huh?" Lex asked quietly.

"Yeah," Clark whispered, flushing lightly, ducking his head.

"Hey, don't get embarrassed," Lex said quietly. Clark felt a light touch to his shoulder. "I was too." Clark sighed and lay back on the verge.

"You kissed me and I set the grass on fire," he said quietly, "You do realise it rained last night, don't you?"

"Yes," Lex replied, "Look, tell me what happened, then we'll try and figure it out, okay?"

"I, okay," Clark sighed, "You were, leaning against me and I got..." He flushed again.

"Turned on?" Lex asked softly.

"Yeah," Clark replied, "Then I could feel you kissing me and this heat just built up behind my eyes and then, well, came out."

"Have you felt anything like it before?" Lex asked.

"No, I don't think so," Clark frowned thoughtfully, "But then I've never really made out with anyone before and got," he cleared his throat, "Turned on."

Lex snickered quietly and Clark scowled. "Sorry," Lex said quietly, "Well, I guess we should try it out again."

"What?" Clark exclaimed.

"Clark, you can't hurt me, or anyone else round here, we need to find out if that's what _did_ cause it, and then see if we can find a way for you to control it," Lex said softly. "Unless you'd rather I didn't."

Clark didn't like the uncertainty in Lex's voice and he sat up. "Of course I want you to, Lex, I just, I'm scared." He sighed, "What if I _can't_ control it?"

"You will," Lex said firmly, "You've learnt to control everything else, right?" Clark nodded, "Well, then, you can learn to control this."

Clark couldn't help a small smile, "And that we get to practise kissing at the same time is just a side benefit, right?"

"Right." Clark could almost hear Lex smile.

He shifted round towards Lex and leaned over slightly. "Where are you?" he breathed.

"Right here." Gentle pressure grew against his cheek and Clark sighed, letting the feeling wash over him, Lex's lips slowly becoming more solid against his. Somehow warm and moist, Lex's tongue swept between his lips and Clark couldn't quite hold back a groan, need slowly building up again, his groin tightening. Heat shot up his spine and again suddenly seemed to explode from his eyes.

"Fuck," Clark gasped, pulling back. He got up quickly and put out the new fire. Blinking again, Clark turned back, "Well, I'm guessing it's you."

Lex chuckled, "Flattering I must say, but no, it must be a sexual thing."

"Exactly," Clark nodded, "You." But he smiled, feeling a little less freaked out.

"Try doing it on your own," Lex said quietly. 

Clark sighed but sat back down. He squinted at a patch of grass, but nothing seemed to be happening. Clark grimaced and concentrated harder, letting himself think about Lex when he was still alive, his body, pale, smooth skin and how much he'd wanted to touch. He shivered with want and the grass exploded into flame.

"Cool," Lex murmured from beside him.

Clark snorted. "I hope this doesn't mean I'm going to have to think about sex anytime I need to use this power."

Lex laughed, "That could be a problem."

"What I really need is to be able to control it when I _want_ to think about sex," Clark sighed.

"Well, we have time to practise," Lex said quietly, "For now just close your eyes if you feel it happening."

Clark frowned, "Aren't we going to practise some more now?"

"Clark, we should be getting back," Lex said quietly.

"Oh," Clark sighed in disappointment.

"You know your mother is worried about you."

Clark sighed, "I know. Come on then." He got up and ran home, heading straight for the house. His mother was in the kitchen and looked up at him, startled.

"Clark? Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah Mom." Clark wrapped his arms round the petite figure of his mother, "I love you."

"Oh Clark," her voice choked up, "Oh, I love you too, honey." She sniffed and pulled back, cupping his cheek, "What brought that on?"

Clark shrugged, "I just, I know it's not easy having me for a son."

"Clark, no child is easy, but you know we love you whatever," she said sadly.

"Yeah, it's just that," Clark sighed, "I think I developed a new power."

"Oh," Martha blinked, "What happened, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I set fire to the river bank," Clark said quickly, sitting down. He felt a slight pressure in his lap and smiled slightly.

"You set... how?" she asked in shock.

"Some sort of heat blast from my eyes." Clark cleared his throat nervously.

"Don't worry, Clark," Lex said softly.

"Oh my." She sat down heavily, "Maybe you should get your father so we can talk about this." Clark nodded and got up, quickly speeding through the farm to find his father.

"Oh, hi Clark, I was just coming to look for you," Jonathan smiled at his son.

"Hey Dad, um, can you come indoors, I need to tell you something," Clark said hesitantly.

"Sure, Clark, what's wrong?" his father asked, following him back to the house.

"I was just telling Mom, I set fire to the river bank," Clark said quietly as they walked into the kitchen. His father raised an eyebrow. "With my eyes," Clark explained.

"Ah," Jonathan frowned. "Is that, I mean, has it happened before?"

"No, but it happened three times," Clark thought about what had happened at the river and flushed.

"Do you know what triggered it?" Martha asked.

"Uh, pretty sure yeah," Clark muttered, shifting uncomfortably.

"Clark, you know you don't have to tell them the truth," Lex said quietly from next to him. Clark nodded, but looked up at his parents anyway.

"It was," he cleared his throat, "I was thinking about, about uh, sex," he whispered.

"Oh." Both his parents flushed, exchanging glances.

"I think I'll be able to control it though," Clark said hurriedly.

"Let's hope so," Jonathan muttered.

"Jon!" Martha snapped, "Clark, it's nothing to be ashamed of, honey, but you'll have to be careful, you know, around people."

Lex snorted loudly and Clark glared in his general direction. "I, uh, don't think that'll be a problem at the moment, Mom," he said with a cough of embarrassment.

"Well, I," Jonathan scratched the back of his neck, shifting uncomfortably. "Maybe you should practise outdoors and make sure you get it under control, because that's going to be a danger."

"I know, Dad," Clark sighed, "I'll be careful, don't worry."

"Okay, well, I guess I'll get back to work, see you outside, Clark?" Jonathan asked, getting up hurriedly.

"Sure, Dad, I'll be out in a bit," Clark replied, staring in bemusement at the rapidly retreating figure of his father.

"Are you okay, Clark?" Martha asked cautiously.

Clark smiled, "Yeah, Mom, I actually feel okay, you know? Hopeful." 

"That's great, Clark," she said with a soft, if slightly sad, smile.

"I'm sorry if I worried you," Clark said quietly, "I'll try not to anymore."

"It's all right, Clark I know you loved him, you don't just get over that," his mother whispered.

Clark smiled, "It's okay, Mom, I don't need to now. I'm going to find Dad, see you later."

"Okay, honey." She nodded, but looked confused.

"I'm not sure you entirely reassured her, Clark," Lex commented.

Clark sighed, "I did the best I could, considering. It's not easy trying to pretend, I'm talking to a ghost, after all."

"Except everything I've heard about ghosts does not include conversations, touching and feeling," Lex said quietly.

"Well, it's not like I'm human is it, I mean I just set fire to wet grass with my _eyes_! I can see through things for God's sake, maybe I can see see-through things too," Clark snapped.

There was a pause, then Lex snorted, "You know, I actually followed that."

Clark half smiled. "It's possible, Lex, you have to admit it's possible. I mean, I've been overhearing things there's just no way I should be able to hear. And now I can hear you. My sight is way beyond the norm and now I'm catching glimpses of you. Maybe what I am makes that possible."

"What about the touching, the feeling?" Lex asked quietly.

"I don't know!" Clark groaned in quiet desperation, "I'm reaching for answers as it is, Lex. I don't think I even care, as long as I still have you."

"I know," Lex sighed, "I'm sorry."

"Clark?"

Clark span round, "Oh hey, Dad."

"Are you alone?" His father looked confused.

"Yeah, why?" Clark asked.

"I coulda sworn I heard you talking to someone, son." His father frowned.

"No, just myself." Clark smiled tentatively.

"Uh, okay," Jonathan blinked, then smiled back, "Can you get started feeding the cows for me?"

"Sure." Clark sped off, relieved to get away from his father's concern.

@>*~

"Clark."

A whisper woke him, breath warm and tickly against his ear. Fingers slid down his chest leaving tingling trails in their wake. Tips rubbed over a nipple, making him gasp and Clark writhed slowly under his lover's touch. He reached down to his morning erection and wrapped his hand around it, stroking slowly as Lex touched him, seemingly all over. Heat burned momentarily behind his eyes, then dissipated. "Lex," he whispered, "Please, kiss me."

"With pleasure," Lex replied.

The softest brush of pressure on his mouth slowly deepened until Clark could feel the movement of Lex's lips, the urging of his tongue. Whining happily, Clark tugged on his cock as he parted his lips, lapping encouragingly at Lex's tongue with his own. Lex pressed deeper and it felt like he was trying to consume him. One invisible hand wrapped around his own, the other descending lower, and the gentle touch to his balls was all it took. Clark arched up, whimpering quietly as he came over his hand.

Lex's mouth left his, but Clark could still feel his lover above him. "Lex?"

"You're so beautiful when you come, Clark," Lex whispered.

Clark blushed, but smiled, "I want to see _you_ come, Lex."

"I'm sure you will, we can feel each other so much more now," Lex replied.

It was true. In the three weeks that had passed since Clark had really felt Lex's kiss for the first time, things had improved dramatically. Clark could even feel the shape of Lex's body, feel his soft, somehow warm, skin better and more often as every day passed. He was trying to be patient and let it happen naturally, but Clark wanted to see more of Lex than a shadowy figure out of the corner of his eye, or the very occasional hazy glimpse when he first woke up.

But he couldn't complain too much when Lex had decided that the best way to practice was to kiss and feel each other up as often as possible.

Clark lifted his hands and ran them down Lex's sides, tracing his lover's outline in the space above him.

"Hey." Lex chuckled, "That actually tickles!"

"Sorry," Clark said with an unrepentant grin, "It's just I can almost see you this way."

"Could you..." Lex stopped when Clark ran his hand over Lex's thigh to find his cock. "Oh yeah, that's nice."

"Nice?" Clark asked with a laugh. He flattened his palm over his ghostly lover's erection and rubbed lightly.

"Very, very nice," Lex purred.

The increase in pressure against his hand showed Clark just how nice Lex was finding it and he carefully moved to jack his lover off as best he could working by feel alone. He lifted his other hand again, feeling for Lex's face. Clark gently rubbed his thumb over Lex's lips and pushed it into his mouth.

Lex moaned and jerked into his fist. "God, Clark, it's so good... being able to... feel you," he gasped.

"Yeah," Clark agreed, "Now if only I could taste your come..." He grinned wickedly at Lex's groan of release.

"Who the hell taught you to be so evil?" Lex asked.

Clark shifted when he felt the warmth of Lex's form next to him. "Evil? Moi? And there I was thinking I was a tease," Clark said trying not to laugh.

"Nah, teases don't put out," Lex drawled in reply.

"You ass, are you saying I'm easy?" Clark exclaimed in mock anger.

"Yup, I guess I am."

"Well, see if I put out later, mister," Clark huffed, pressing his lips together to keep from laughing.

"Aw." Clark could almost hear the pout. "C'mon, baby, you know I didn't mean it."

"Uh huh, sure, Lex, whatever. Hey!" Clark squeaked as he felt a hand cup his balls. "No fair when I can't even see you."

Lex laughed, "Sorry, Clark, but if you _could_ see me I'd never catch you unaware, you're too quick."

"Hmm, true," Clark mused. "You have to admit having a superpowered boyfriend is pretty good otherwise though, huh?"

"Definitely," Lex said quietly, "As it means we can hear, touch and feel each other."

"Yeah." Clark sighed quietly, "I missed you so much, but now, maybe for the first time since I found out, I'm glad I'm an alien because I get you back... sort of."

Lex chuckled softly, "Sort of, indeed."

"Lex?" Clark shifted so he could see the shadow of his lover from the periphery of his vision.

"Yes love?"

"Is it really selfish that I'm glad I have you all to myself?" he asked hesitantly.

"Not _really_ ," Lex answered slowly, "A little maybe, but then I feel the same way. I don't have any other concerns now and I love being able to just be with you. _And_ have nobody else know it."

Clark grinned, "I knew you were getting off on that! You're going to get me into real trouble, you know."

"Not if I'm careful," Lex said with an audible smirk. "It's not like they don't already think you're weird."

Clark stiffened, frowning at the offhand but hurtful comment. "Gee, thanks for the reminder, Lex. Like I need to be ostracised anymore at school."

"Clark." A soft kiss pressed to his cheek. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." Lex sighed, "You're right, I'm sorry. I'll tone it down at school, but I don't think I can stop touching you altogether."

Smiling gently, Clark sat up. "I don't want you to stop touching me, Lex, just stop making me jump."

"Okay," Lex agreed, "I can do that."

"Good. Now, I should get up and do my chores," Clark said with a sigh.

"Oh yay, what fun," Lex snarked.

"You're the one who doesn't leave my side, don't blame me if I can't entertain you all the time," Clark said a little snappily.

"Would you prefer it if I did leave you alone sometimes?" Lex asked quietly.

"No!" Clark exclaimed in horror, "No, I don't want you ever leaving me again."

"Well, okay then." Lex sounded relieved, "I don't ever want to leave your side, but if it should ever be necessary, I'll always tell you first."

"Thank you," Clark said quietly. "I love you, Lex."

"I know," Lex sighed, "Ditto."

Clark pouted, "That's the last time we watch 'Ghost'."

Lex laughed, long and loud, "You know I love you, you idiot."

Clark grinned, "Yeah, I do. You stayed for me."

@>*~

Martha hurried out of the barn, clutching her hands together at her breast in terrible sorrow. No wonder Clark had seemed to suddenly get over Lex's death so quickly. He'd been acting strangely for a while, but after hearing that bizarre one-sided conversation in the loft, everything had fallen into place.

Sitting down at the kitchen table, Martha cried for her heartbroken son. What was she going to do? Jonathan and Pete would never understand Clark's feelings for Lex and there was no way Clark could go to a counsellor or psychologist. How could she help her baby through this?

@>*~

"Hey Mom." Clark greeted his mother cheerily. Her smile seemed a little strained, but she gave him a big hug.

"Hi honey," she said, "Hungry?"

"Always, Mom, you know that," Clark replied with a grin.

"Good, I made plenty."

"Where's Dad?" Clark asked, starting to eat.

"In the lower field already," she said, serving him some scrambled eggs.

"Oh." Clark raised his eyebrows.

"Clark." His mother sat down and looked at him earnestly.

Clark frowned, a little worried, "What, Mom?"

"Just..." she sighed, "You know if you ever need to talk, about anything, about... Lex, I'm here."

Barely biting back a gasp, Clark glanced round furtively before he realised there was no way she could know. He sighed in relief. "Thanks, Mom, but I'm okay, really."

She looked doubtful and a little sad again, but nodded. "Okay, honey, just remember, if you need me, I'm here."

Clark stood up and grabbed his last slice of toast. He bent down and kissed her cheek, "Thanks, Mom. See you later."

"She's worried about you," Lex said quietly.

"I know," Clark sighed, "What am I going to do though? Tell her it's all okay now because you didn't follow the path of light so you could stay with me? That'll go down well."

"I respect your mother a great deal. It's possible she might give you the benefit of the doubt, Clark," Lex said quietly.

"No, I don't think so, Lex. I really wish it were, but she'd think I was losing it." Clark frowned sadly, wishing in some ways that he _could_ share this miracle with his mother.

"Yeah, I suppose," Lex sighed, "Maybe we really should tone it down unless we're alone."

"I don't want to," Clark whispered, "I love having you talk to me, touch me or whatever, whenever you want."

"Except making you jump at school?" Lex asked dryly.

"Right." Clark grinned again. "Things are fine, and once I can see you properly, they'll be almost perfect."

"Almost?" Lex whispered softly.

"You'd have to be alive for it to be perfect, Lex," Clark whispered in reply, his face crumbling slightly in pain.

"Don't cry, love." Lex's arms wrapped round him gently, "I didn't want to leave you, you know that. That's why I'm still here now."

"I know." Clark sniffed and wiped his eyes, "Sorry." Lex squeezed his shoulder gently.

@>*~

Actually on time for once, Clark got on the bus, forcing a grin for his friends as he sat down next to them. "Hey guys."

"Hi Clark," Chloe smiled back at him. "Lana's been asking after you, are you not seeing her much?"

"Been avoiding her," Clark sighed, "She really pissed me off the other week."

"You?" Chloe's eyes bugged out, " _You_ got pissed with Lana? Lana Lang?"

Hiding a grin as Lex started to laugh, Clark nodded. "I lost one of my best friends and all she can do is talk about her parents... everyone in town knows about her damned parents." Clark blinked, surprised at his vehemence.

"Wow, Clark," Pete looked stunned, but was grinning, "You finally got over her, huh?"

Clark smiled tightly. "A long time ago," he whispered. Chloe frowned sympathetically and squeezed his arm gently.

"As long as _she_ doesn't think she's getting her claws into you now," Lex mutttered.

"No chance," Clark whispered, smothering a smile.

"Good," Lex sniffed and sat in his lap. Clark managed not to jump or squeak... just. He glared at where he guessed Lex's face was, but couldn't quite stop himself from raising his hand to stroke down Lex's back.

"Easy, lover," Lex murmured, shifting on his thighs. Clark paused mid stroke, realising that Chloe and Pete were staring at him oddly. Flushing, Clark put down his hand hurriedly and cleared his throat. "Um, so, Chloe, how're things going at The Torch?"

"Oh great," she started enthusiastically, whacking Pete's arm when he snorted.

Clark sat back with a smile, listening to his blonde friend talk a mile a minute.

"You're getting too good at that," Lex commented.

Clark frowned. "At what?" he murmured.

"Not really getting involved in the conversation, deflecting attention away from you," Lex replied.

Shrugging one shoulder, Clark sighed. "So?" he whispered.

"So, you still have a life outside me, Clark, you can live a little, you know?" Lex said softly, "I'm happy just hanging around."

Clark pursed his lips, frowning at Lex words. He wasn't sure why he felt so hurt, after all, he knew Lex was trying to help, but he did. The bus pulled up at the school and Clark quickly excused himself, running to the bathroom.

"I don't understand, Lex, what do you want from me?" he sighed quietly, "I'm spending time with them, I'm enjoying it too. I just... I just haven't got much to say to them anymore." Clark grimaced, "Can't exactly talk to them about you, can I?"

"You _can_ talk about other things," Lex sighed, "I'm just worried that it's not healthy spending so much time with..."

"Lex, I have so many different secrets I keep from different people, sometimes it's just easier not to talk than to try and remember all the lies." Clark scrunched his face up in guilt. "Why isn't it healthy spending so much time with the one person who knows everything? I love you, Lex, I don't care if you _are_ dead."

"Clark." Arms wrapped round him and Clark felt a brush of silky skin against his cheek. "Okay, Clark, I'll stop worrying... well, I'll try to stop worrying, if you try and... join in a bit more."

Smiling through tear-filled eyes, Clark nodded. "Okay, okay, I'll try. Give me a kiss would you?" he asked quietly.

"Of course," Lex whispered in reply. A huff of warmth across his lips told Clark where his lover was and he lifted his hand to cup the back of Lex's head. Soft pressure on his mouth grew to the sensation of lips moving over his and Clark moaned quietly. Suddenly the feeling disappeared and a rush went through him, making him shiver. "Lex?"

"Sorry, I just..." Lex paused, sounding confused, "It was like I just, entered you."

"Excuse me?" Clark blinked, not at all sure what his lover meant.

"I was inside your body for a moment," Lex gasped, "I think anyway."

"Man, whatever it was, it felt amazing." Clark swallowed and pressed a hand against his crotch.

"Really?" Lex drawled silkily. 

"Yeah," Clark breathed. The thought of Lex being inside his body, the whole of him, made his mouth go dry and his chest tighten. "Lex?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we go and... experiment?" Clark asked tightly, hopefully.

"What about school?" Lex asked quietly.

"Lex, I'm not going to be able to think about anything else _now_ ," Clark whined, widening his eyes pleadingly. There was a long pause and Clark started to bounce in anticipation.

Lex sighed, "Okay, okay. Just don't blame me if you get into trouble later."

Beaming happily, Clark nodded. "Thank you! Come on, let's go." He jumped out of the window and ran for the riverbank.

@>*~

Pete was frozen in shock, the only part of him able to move were his eyelids, which blinked repeatedly. He'd known something was wrong with Clark. His best friend had gone from total devastation over Lex's death to quite happy in a matter of weeks. Yet he'd still been acting strangely, staring off into space as if listening to something no one else could hear, whispering to himself constantly.

And now Pete knew why. It was enough of a shock that Clark thought he was talking to Lex, but to find out that his best friend had been in love with that... that bald freak! Pete didn't know what to think, what to do.

He frowned, moving finally to make his way to class. What the hell was he going to do? Should he wait and see what happened? Talk to Chloe? Or maybe he should go to the Kents with his worries. He'd have to think about it.

@>*~

"Oh God yeah, Lex," Clark gasped, dropping their head back and writhing into their hand.

He was lying back on the couch in the loft and Lex was lying inside him. They'd discovered over the last couple of weeks that when Lex entered his body, they could feel everything the other was feeling through Clark's body, simultaneously with their own feelings. It was so intense, even with Clark's super-strength he found it exhausting if they did it too long or too often.

With Lex inside him, jerking off was taken to a whole new level. Two hands in one stroking two cocks in one. Not only was he jerking himself and Lex off at the same time, but Lex was jerking Clark and himself off too... at the same time!

It blew his mind completely. Just Lex being inside him made his entire body tighten and tingle with pleasure.

He gripped harder, stroking faster, feeling Lex's groan all the way down to their cock. Lex moved their left arm up to their lips and sucked a couple of fingers into their mouth, laving them wetly.

"Turn," Lex said with a pant. Clark turned to their side and let Lex reach behind them, sliding wet fingers across their ass. Moaning quietly, Clark joined Lex in pushing their fingers inside, reaching deep. The clench of their ass, the heat, was amazing and Clark jerked helplessly between their fist and their fingers. "Oh Christ, Clark, that's good," Lex gasped.

Pre-come oozed between their fingers copiously and Clark gripped tighter as their hand slipped faster up and down their cock. Balls tightening, they rocked urgently between twin points of heat and ecstasy. Lex shoved their fingers deeper and Clark yelped. Electricity shot through their ass and up through their groin as they came together, jerking into their hand shooting ribbons of come over fingers and the back of the couch.

"Oh my God," Lex gasped.

Clark couldn't speak or move. He felt his lover leave his body with a pang of desperate regret and sucked in a shuddering breath.

"Are you okay, love?" Lex asked quietly. Clark managed a nod and a smile. "Clark, I don't think we should do this so often, look at you." Lex sounded distressed.

"So," Clark swallowed, struggling to even speak, "Worth it."

"But, Clark, you're the one left exhausted, I wouldn't mind so much if it was me..."

"I... would," Clark panted, interrupting his lover. Yes, it exhausted him to the point of unconsciousness, but he recovered quickly after a nap.

"Clark," Lex sighed.

"M'fine," Clark whispered, "Just... sleep." He managed to raise enough energy to drag a blanket over his naked body and closed his eyes. "Love you, Lex."

Lex gently stroked his head, "I love you, so much, Clark. Rest, I'll watch over you." Clark drifted off with a soft smile on his lips.

@>*~

Jonathan felt sick to his stomach. Almost walking in on your own son jerking off was bad enough, but to realise Clark was fantasising about a man... a dead man...

Jonathan sighed, realising just why Clark had been so devastated when Lex had died. But it really concerned him that Clark hadn't seemed to have let go. How long would it take for Clark to stop mourning, stop dreaming? His son had been acting so strangely lately, maybe he should keep more of an eye on him. Walking back to the farmhouse, Jonathan decided he should talk to Martha, she would know what to do.

@>*~

It was a Saturday morning Clark realised when he woke up to a soft kiss. He grinned. "Morning, lover."

"Morning, Clark." Lex replied happily, "Feeling better?"

"Feeling great," Clark sighed in satisfaction, "Starving, but great."

"Well, go and eat. I'm sure your mother has cooked up a storm and you need to keep your strength up," Lex replied with an audible grin.

"Great idea!" Clark leapt off the couch, padding over to the stairs.

"There's just one small thing, Clark."

Clark stopped, "Yeah?"

"You fell asleep naked," Lex pointed out, snorting loudly when Clark flushed.

"Right, clothes are good." Clark whizzed into his clothes and ran down to the house. He opened the kitchen door and stopped in surprise. His parents were sitting at the table and they stopped talking abruptly when he walked in, staring at him seriously.

Clark frowned. "Hey guys, is something wrong?"

"Sit down, Clark," his mother said quietly.

His frown deepening with worry, Clark sat down at the table. "Look," he started, "I know I've been missing a bit of school, but I..."

"That's not what we want to talk to you about, Son," his father interrupted him.

"Oh man," Lex whispered.

"Oh?" Clark raised an eyebrow, trying to stay calm, even though he was suddenly terrified. What did they know?

"Honey," his mother started slowly, "We're... we're concerned about you."

"But I'm fine," Clark said quietly.

"Sweetheart, Lex's death broke your heart." His mother looked like she was going to cry. "You could barely function for weeks and then suddenly you started to seem almost normal again."

"Is there something wrong with that?" Clark asked in confusion, "I'm just trying to live again."

"Clark, we've both overheard you... uh, talking to yourself as if you were talking to Lex," Jonathan said hesitantly.

Clark blinked, feeling his gut clench worriedly. Lex squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. "I'm here, Clark, don't worry."

Automatically, Clark put his hand up to rest on Lex's. "I don't know what you mean," he said quietly.

"Please don't, Clark," Martha pleaded, tears starting to trickle down her face. "I've heard you having long, one-sided conversations and I'm so worried about you."

"Mom," Clark whispered sorrowfully, "I didn't mean to worry you." His eyebrows scrunched together in distress.

"Oh baby," she gasped, "I know you're just trying to deal with losing him, but you've got to stop this. Pretending he's still here isn't healthy."

Choking on a laugh, Clark squeezed Lex's hand gently. "Lex, what should I do?" he whispered. Lex's arms slipped round his neck and Clark felt a soft cheek next to his and he nuzzled against it, needing the comfort too much to care how it might look to his parents.

"Try the truth, love. Just... please don't let them convince you I'm not real, I don't think I could deal with that."

"Don't worry, Lex, I know you're real. Nothing they could say could make me believe otherwise," Clark whispered softly.

"Clark!" Jonathan gasped.

"I'm not pretending," Clark said firmly, "He's here, he stayed for _me_." He stared seriously at his family. "It took a lot of time and effort but slowly, I was able to hear him more clearly, then feel him and touch him... sometimes I can almost see him." He sighed, "I'm an alien with strange powers developing all the time, is this really so hard to believe?"

"Are you trying to tell us you now have psychic ability? Jonathan snorted.

"Jon!" Martha snapped.

"No, I'm saying I already have enhanced hearing and sight, my skin is not normal... Lex and I love each other, don't you think it's possible that we were attuned enough to each other that I _can_ talk to him, feel him... maybe one day even see him properly?"

"I don't believe in ghosts," Jonathan said firmly, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It is a bit of a stretch of the imagination, Clark," Martha said softly, frowning sadly.

"So you're not even going to try?" Clark exclaimed, "Don't you care at all that I'm actually as close to happy as I'm going to get without Lex being alive?"

"Oh Clark." His mother put her hands over her face.

"Lex, please, help me out here," Clark begged. He waited but got no answer. "Lex?"

"Okay," Lex sighed, "I'll tell you something you couldn't possibly know, but it's up to you whether or not you want to say anything."

"Is it that bad?" Clark asked tentatively.

"It's pretty bad," Lex replied.

"Is what bad, Son?" Jonathan asked.

"Wait, Dad, please," Clark said quietly, "Go on, Lex."

"My father processed your highly illegal adoption, in return he asked your father for a favour. And when I say asked, I mean a demand backed up by a threat." Lex laughed bitterly.

"What was the favour, Lex?" Clark asked hesitantly. He saw his father pale suddenly out of the corner of his eyes.

"To persuade the Ross family to sell up," Lex said quietly.

"Oh my God," Clark gasped, "Dad! You did that, you did something like that, for me?"

"What?" Martha asked cautiously.

"But how could you treat Lex so badly because of that? It wasn't his fault, he was only nine when it happened!" Clark exclaimed.

"He was a Luthor," Jonathan said with a defensive shrug.

"Lionel blackmailed you into betraying your friends so therefore Lex must be just as bad?" Clark gasped in disgust. "What about all those values and ideals you're always telling me are so important..."

"Clark, please. I didn't want to get you so upset. It's okay," Lex interrupted him.

"It's not okay, Lex! He judged you because he was angry with himself and your father."

"He's not perfect, Clark, and he loves you," Lex whispered softly, "He was trying to watch out for you and he had a damn good reason for trying to protect you."

Clark sighed, his anger leaving him in a rush. "I know." He reached up and patted Lex's arms which were still round his neck. He breathed in then out slowly. "Do you believe me now?" he asked quietly.

"Lionel told you that," Jonathan snapped.

"What? When would Lionel have told me?" Clark sighed, "Why?"

"I don't know, but that man will do anything to destroy this family."

"Dad, that's enough!" Clark yelled, "Lex is here with me, if you can't accept that, too bad." He got up and kissed his mother, then stalked out of the house.

"Well, that went well," Lex sighed.

"It's not your fault. Dad should have told me a long time ago," Clark said with a grimace and shook his head. He held out his hand, smiling when Lex took it. "I love you, Lex. I don't care if everyone finds out and thinks I'm insane, _I_ know you're here and you're real." His lips trembled and he tried to swallow as his throat closed up with tears suddenly.

"Clark," Lex pulled him to a stop, "What is it?"

"I just..." Clark stopped, feeling his voice break on a sob, "I really... I really need to _see_ you."

"Clark," Lex breathed, tugging him into a hug. Clark clung to the invisible form of his lover desperately. "I know, I'm so sorry, Clark."

Lex's hand cupped his cheek, then eased inside him, stroking through his body, making Clark gasp quietly. "You will see me, Clark, I promise. Please keep trying," Lex whispered.

"Till the day I die," Clark swore, "I will try and I will love you."

"I love you so much," Lex breathed. He clasped Clark's face between his hands and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. As Clark pulled back, a beam of sunlight hit them and suddenly, he was staring into sad, blue eyes.

"Lex," he whispered, reaching up to caress a sunlit cheek, "I _can_ see you."

Lex blinked in shock, "Really?"

"Yeah," Clark replied, smiling so wide, his cheeks hurt.

"What am I doing?" Lex asked, then poked out his tongue, just a little.

Instead of replying, Clark leaned forward and sucked his lover's tongue into his mouth. Lex made a muffled noise of surprise, but leaned into him eagerly. Clark kept his eyes open so he could watch his lover. But, as the sunlight shifted, Lex faded into invisibility again. Sighing, Clark pulled away.

"You can't see me any more, can you?" Lex asked quietly.

"No," Clark replied, "But it was enough. For now."

@>*~

Chloe dragged Pete into the Torch office, Monday lunchtime.

"What?" Pete asked, frowning curiously.

"I know you know something's up with Clark," Chloe said with a raised eyebrow.

"How do you mean?" Pete asked cautiously.

"All that staring into space, sporadic laughter, whispering to no one..." Chloe stared at him, "Ring any bells?"

"Oh, that," Pete sighed.

"Yeah, that. What's going on?" she asked quietly.

Pete stared back at her ruefully. He knew she was just as worried about Clark. Surely he could talk to her about this without worrying about the whole alien thing? "Okay, okay." He sat down, urging Chloe to do the same. "Clark was in love with Lex," he started.

Chloe went pale. "What?"

"Clark loved him, that's why he was so, you know, devastated when Lex died." Pete grimaced at her expression.

"But, but, I don't understand," Chloe said quietly, "Why does he seem okay now?"

"He thinks Lex is with him," Pete sighed.

"What?" Chloe exclaimed.

"He talks to him, as if Lex is really there, I've heard him," Pete shook his head, "It's really bad, Chloe, I don't know what to do."

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Chloe asked quietly.

"I didn't know what to say," Pete shrugged. "What are we going to do?"

"I just don't know, Pete," she sighed.

@>*~

Just outside the door, Thomas Greene smiled maliciously. That Kent kid was such a self-righteous bastard, it would be a pleasure to spread this little story.

@>*~

It started quietly, Clark almost didn't notice until he started to get that weird prickle you get when someone's staring at you. Except it was the whole class that was staring at him. He frowned and shifted uncomfortably, trying to ignore it.

"What's going on?" he murmured to Lex.

"I don't know," Lex replied, sounding just as confused.

Kids started to nudge each other, whispering and still staring.

Outside during break, it got worse. It seemed like everyone who passed him was staring at him. Clark went and sat down by himself, feeling distinctly nervous. "Lex, I don't like this," he whispered. There was no reply. "Lex?"

"Uh, you might want to eavesdrop on a few conversations, Clark," Lex finally said, quietly.

Clark frowned and concentrated his hearing. 

'... Kent's a freak...'

'... invisible friend...'

'... no, he thinks it's Luthor...'

'... knew they were fags...'

Clark stood abruptly, feeling his chest tighten in panic. "How can they know?" he gasped. "Lex, how can they know?"

"Don't panic, please." Clark felt Lex's hands stroke slowly through his body and calmed immediately.

"Sorry, Lex," Clark sighed, "I know I said I don't care if the whole world thinks I'm mad, but I wasn't expecting to have to deal with it right now."

"I know," Lex said softly, "It's okay, you know. You don't have to do this, we can talk when we're alone."

Clark frowned. He didn't want that. He'd worked too hard to get Lex back and loved him too much to let him go again, be alone again, even just when other people were around. And Lex sounded so sad at the thought. "No!" he exclaimed loudly, then dropped his voice again, "No, I do have to do this, because it's real and you're real and I don't care what they think, Lex, I love you."

A lot of people stopped whispering and stared at him in shock, some even started to laugh at what they saw as confirmation that he'd really lost it, but Clark didn't care because Lex was in his lap, gently kissing his neck, running a hand through his body in a way that was going to leave him achingly hard in just a few more...

"Stop," he gasped, "Too much, Lex."

"We could just go," Lex suggested.

Clark blinked, then laughed, "And you're the one always telling me I shouldn't miss school."

He felt Lex shrug against him. "These losers don't deserve the pleasure of your company any longer, Clark."

"Okay, but I'm blaming you," Clark said with a chuckle.

"Hmm, that'll look really good on your psych report," Lex commented.

"They can kiss my psych goodbye," Clark giggled. He headed for the gates, blithely ignoring everyone around him, including Chloe and Pete who were calling after him.

"Kiss my psych goodbye?" Lex groaned.

"You don't like that line?" Clark chuckled, before he broke into a run.

"Did you?" Lex snarked, as he dropped to the ground next to the riverbank.

Clark lay back, folding his arms under his head. "I thought it was okay. Come on, you heard what they were saying: I've lost it, apparently. Looks like I'll be ending up with the school counsellor for this." He sighed, "Mom and Dad will not be happy, but at least they'll have to talk to me now."

Lex sighed, "I'm sorry, Clark, are you sure this is worth it?"

"Of course it is, how can you ask me that?" Clark gasped disbelievingly.

"Because your parents are barely talking to you, your friends have been acting funny around you for a while and now the whole school, and soon the town, thinks you're insane, Clark. That's hardly a good start, is it?" Lex snapped.

"Don't you think it's worth it?" Clark asked quietly, worry and hurt filling his heart.

"For me, yes," Lex said straight away, "But I love you, that means I also care a great deal about what happens in your life, I couldn't bear it if I was the cause of pain."

"You're not!" Clark exclaimed, "You're my only source of real happiness, Lex. Yes, I love my parents and yes, I love Chloe and Pete, but they aren't my life. You are."

"A dead person shouldn't be your life, Clark," Lex whispered sorrowfully.

"Well, you aren't dead to me," Clark said firmly, "So just accept it, Lex. You are worth more to me than any of this."

He heard Lex sigh, but then felt his lover lie next to him, sliding an arm over his waist. Maybe it was a little insane, even though he knew Lex was real, or as real as a ghost got anyway, but he couldn't let go now. He knew what it was like _not_ to have Lex in his life and he'd gone through too much to get him back. There was no way anyone could get him to let go, even if it meant losing his friends... even if, ultimately, it meant he lost his family.

@>*~

"That's just great, Clark, they want you to go and see a damn shrink now!" Jonathan yelled.

"Dad, I'm sorry," Clark sighed, reaching out for Lex's hand. His lover took it and squeezed gently. "I really tried to be normal for the counsellor, but it's kind of hard when everyone at school sees me talking to Lex sometimes. People aren't even talking about it that much now, you know? It's just harmless, nutty Kent now."

"Can't you even try to be normal? You used to be able to pretend just fine," Jonathan snapped. Clark flinched, his father's words stinging him.

"Son of a..."

"Lex, it's okay," Clark interrupted his lover.

"Lex! Lex! Will you stop it!" Jonathan shouted, "He's not here, he's _dead_! Dead and gone, Clark, a figment of your imagination."

Clark felt tears prickle at his eyes once again and he backed away from his father. "Why can't you just accept it?" he whispered sorrowfully.

"Because it's not real," his father said softly, "This is ruining your life, Clark."

"No, it's not," Clark said firmly, straightening up, "My life is fine, it's your life you're worried about." He stared at his father, hoping for a denial of what he'd just said. When none came, Clark felt his shoulders hunch with pain and he turned away, hurrying out of the house.

"Clark," Lex whispered, "Come here."

Clark looked round for his lover, smiling sadly at the concerned gaze levelled at him. He walked into arms held open for him and hugged tightly at the translucent but visible form of his lover. It was worth the pain for moments like this, especially as he could usually see Lex now. Even though his father refused to back down, his mother was at least talking to him now. Every time he talked to Lex, she looked pained, but there was nothing Clark could do about it. They'd both tried to prove it to his parents, but neither of them would accept it.

"I'm sorry I got you into trouble again," Lex sighed.

"Are you kidding?" Clark said with a grin, "Your comments are the only thing that get me through those sessions, it's my fault I laughed out loud." He nuzzled Lex's neck, "Counsellor, schmounsellor, she's so old and staid it's a wonder she understands a word I'm saying anyway."

"True," Lex smiled at him and hugged him closer.

"Well, I guess we might as well turn in. Are you going to snuggle with me?" Clark asked, knowing there was no point in asking Lex for sex. He'd entered him the night before and Clark had been so exhausted afterwards that Lex had told him there was no way they were doing it again for at least a week. The thing was though, that after a bit of sleep, Clark didn't just recover, he felt better and stronger every time. He hadn't been able to persuade Lex that the exhaustion was worth it though... yet.

"Of course," Lex whispered, pushing him towards the couch.

@>*~

Waking up on his own for the first time in weeks, Clark rolled onto his side and frowned. "Lex?"

His lover was sitting on the edge of the sofabed, staring out of the window at the sunrise. The early sunlight made it easier to see the soft lines of Lex's body, naked, pale, smooth. Lex didn't move and Clark sat up, reaching out to stroke his lover's back.

Lex sighed and turned slowly. "Clark, I've been thinking," he started.

Feeling his stomach knot with fear, Clark tried to look into his lover's eyes. "What?" he whispered.

"What if... Clark, what if your parents are right?" Lex asked, refusing to look at him.

Clark felt his heart sink. "How can you say that?" he gasped quietly.

"What if I _am_ a figment of your imagination? What if I'm preventing you from leading a normal life?" Lex asked quietly.

"How can you say you're a figment of my imagination?" Clark asked, tears burning his eyes, "Imagination isn't real to the touch like you are, doesn't think for itself... Lex, if you were a figment of my imagination, you wouldn't be talking like this, don't you see?" he asked desperately.

Lex frowned, "Maybe. But I still think that I am preventing you from leading a normal life."

"We've talked about this before, Lex," Clark sighed sadly, "What _is_ normal? Especially for me? I've been thinking about this, Lex; some day I'm going to have to do something more with my abilities and that is bound to put my loved ones in danger. I can have you and not live in constant fear of losing you." He smiled tentatively, breathing out in relief when Lex smiled ruefully. "Besides, you get to be my invisible sidekick."

Lex laughed, squeezing his eyes closed as he sniffed back tears. "I really love you, Clark," he whispered.

"Well, thank God for that," Clark wiped his eyes and nose and smiled, "Don't do that to me anymore, please? I love you so much."

"I promise," Lex replied quietly, smiling gently at him.

"Okay, so we're good?" Clark asked, needing to be sure, needing the reassurance.

"We're good, Clark," Lex said with a wider smile. He turned into Clark and kissed him, his hand slid into Clark's hair, holding him tightly.

"Clark."

Clark jumped, turning to see his mother standing at the top of the loft steps. She looked worried and sad, the same as she always did nowadays. "Hi Mom," Clark said quietly. Lex's hand slipped through his back and he shivered lightly.

"Clark, I..." she frowned, then sighed and shook her head, "Breakfast's ready."

"Okay, Mom, thanks." Clark got up, staring regretfully at his mother's back as she left. Things just hadn't recovered between them since they'd confronted him, and since Clark had stopped pretending Lex wasn't there. It was one of the reasons he'd been sent to the school counsellor and the reason his father barely spoke to him except to shout. But he wasn't about to pretend everything was 'normal' anymore, especially if that meant ignoring Lex's presence.

"Clark, it'll get better," Lex said quietly, stroking his hair.

"Yeah," Clark whispered, "I know. They love me... don't they?" Clark scrunched up his face and took a deep breath. He was so fed up with crying.

"Of course they do, love, of course," Lex sighed, "They may not understand, but they _will_ accept it eventually."

Nodding wearily, Clark sighed, "I hope so." He straightened up and put on some clothes. "You coming?"

Lex laughed, "You need to ask?"

With a deep but happy sigh, Clark shook his head and smiled. "Mom, Dad," Clark greeted his parents quietly and sat down at the kitchen table, shifting to accomodate Lex on his knees. It had become a habit for them simply so that people didn't sit on Lex. And as usual, his father frowned and pursed his lips angrily.

"Please, Dad," Clark sighed, "Please not today." He stared at his father pleadingly, "I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry I'm making you worried and angry and I'm sorry about school, but I can't help that you won't accept I'm telling the truth."

"The truth is, you refuse to see sense, you won't let us _help_ you," his father snapped.

Clark tensed, trying not to get angry. Lex squeezed his shoulder gently. "Calm down, Clark," he whispered.

"Enough the pair of you," Martha said quietly, "Clark, eat your breakfast. Jonathan just... just be quiet."

Clark sighed, putting one arm round Lex as he ate with the other.

"Don't worry, love," Lex said quietly, "I think your Mom's coming round."

Lex stroked back his hair and Clark smiled, looking into his lover's translucent eyes. "I hope so," he whispered.

"Stop it!" Jonathan yelled suddenly, slamming his hand down onto the table. "Just stop it! Can't you see what you're doing here? You're destroying this family, you are tearing your mother apart!"

Clark swallowed hard and stood abruptly, his chest clenching painfully.

"Clark," Lex started.

Choking back a sob, Clark turned and ran. He ran blindly as fast as he could, until he reached a clearing. Clark stopped and looked round for Lex. His lover was still translucent most of the time, so sometimes he was hard to spot. "Lex?" he called, suddenly feeling sick. "Lex? Where are you?"

Weakening, Clark dropped to his knees. "Oh shit," he whispered, realising that he was standing right on top of a huge deposit of meteor rock. "Lex?" he whimpered in pain, sight fading out slowly.

@>*~

"Clark!" Lex yelled. Sometimes, Clark took off too quickly for him to grab hold. "Damn." He glared at Clark's father. "You are _such_ an asshole sometimes."

Lex concentrated for a moment. Somehow, he always knew where his lover was, thankfully. He had a feeling Clark would need him.

He followed his lover as quickly as he could, then stopped in horror. If he'd been alive, his heart would have stopped. Clark was lying unconscious on the ground, his skin green, veins pulsing. "Clark?" Lex crouched down and ran a hand over Clark's forehead. "Clark, wake up, you have to move. Please!" he pleaded. But Clark was too far gone, on too much meteor rock and there was no way Lex could move him.

What was he going to do? No one else could see or hear him, he had no strength to move Clark... Lex had no choice. Even though he had no idea if it would just weaken Clark further, he had to take over Clark's body himself. He concentrated carefully, floating up above Clark and lowering himself into his lover's body. Sometimes being a ghost was very helpful.

Despite the situation, being inside Clark's body made him shiver with want, it solidified him somehow, made everything more real. Thank God he wasn't experiencing Clark's reaction to the meteor rock though. He sat up with a groan, it was kind of weird moving Clark's body on his own, usually they moved together. It was like he could still feel Clark, but in the back of his mind. Okay, so maybe he wasn't a figment of Clark's imagination!

Managing to stand, Lex slowly walked Clark's body back towards the farm. Clark had gone quite far and the weight of his body was starting to tire Lex out. "Come on, Clark, wake up, please," Lex murmured, "Love, I need you to wake up."

He finally dragged Clark's body into the farmhouse and collapsed in the kitchen.

"Clark?" Martha gasped, "Clark, are you okay?"

"Clark's unconscious right now, Mrs. Kent," Lex replied through Clark's mouth, "Your husband very nearly got him killed."

Martha stumbled back, "Clark? What's going on?"

"I'm not Clark," Lex sighed, "I'm Lex. I wish you'd believe that, then maybe you'd stop hurting him, and yourself."

"No," she breathed, "It can't be."

"It can be," Lex insisted, "Look, after Clark left, Mr. Kent punched his fist into the table and nearly broke his finger and you pretended not to cry over the washing up."

Martha frowned and reached out wonderingly. "Lex?" she whispered, "But how?"

"We worked out a while back that I can enter his body, it's one of the ways we..." Lex trailed off, feeling Clark's cheeks flush, and Martha blinked widely, "Anyway, it was the only way I could get him away from the meteor rock he collapsed on."

"Meteor rock?!" Martha gasped. "Jon!"

Jonathan Kent hurried in and stared at him, "Clark? What's wrong."

"It's not Clark, Jon," Martha whispered, obviously still a little awed.

"What do you mean?" Jonathan asked warily.

"After you hurt his feelings, Clark ran out to a clearing and was knocked unconscious on top of a huge deposit of meteor rock," Lex said quietly, not quite accusingly.

"Are you expecting me to believe this little charade, Clark?" Jonathan snapped.

"You'll have to," Lex said firmly, "I'm not prepared to stay in Clark's body for any longer than necessary, it always leaves him exhausted and that won't help him recover."

"What do you mean always?" Jonathan said carefully.

"When we share Clark's body it leaves him so tired he can barely speak. He's already unconscious, I don't want to add to it. Be prepared to catch him," Lex said quietly. He concentrated again and carefully stood up without taking Clark's body with him. Clark slumped over the table, and Lex winced worriedly.

"Clark!" Jonathan steadied his son, blinking in astonishment. "What the hell just happened?"

"I think," Martha cleared her throat, "I think we were just talking to Lex."

Clark stirred to the sound of his parents' voices. Was he home or dreaming, and where was Lex? "Lex?" he whispered, trying to sit up.

"Take it easy, Clark," Lex whispered back in relief, "You're home, you're safe."

"Clark, are you okay?" Martha said worriedly, "Lex said you get exhausted when he's in your body."

Clark blushed, then blinked, "Wait, Lex said?"

"I had to get you away from the meteor rock somehow, Clark, it was the only way," Lex murmured, wrapping his arms round his lover.

"Yes, he was..." Martha shook her head, "He was inside your body."

"I don't know what I saw, but it wasn't you talking, Clark," Jonathan admitted quietly.

"Oh," Clark blinked, "Lex, you saved me. Do you believe me now, Mom? Dad?"

"I had to, love," Lex said quietly, the full significance of what had just happened hitting him. It left him shaken and close to tears.

"I.. I think, well, I think so," Martha gasped. Jonathan shook his head.

"I just don't know, son," he sighed.

"It's okay, Lex, I'm okay," Clark murmured, stroking Lex's arms gently, "Why am I okay?" he asked suddenly, "Why aren't I falling asleep?"

"Maybe it's because we didn't have sex," Lex whispered. It was the only thing he could think of. They'd never tried doing anything else when they shared Clark's body because it usually turned them on so much.

Clark flushed again, almost forgetting that he was the only one who could hear Lex. "Maybe," he agreed. He actually felt better than normal after exposure to meteor rock. It usually took him a while to recover, but he already felt fine. "I feel great, that's so cool."

Martha choked on a laugh, tears trickling down her face at the same time. "Oh Clark," she sighed, "I can't believe... all this time. I'm sorry, honey."

Clark smiled ruefully and shrugged. "I guess it was hard to believe... but Mom, you didn't even try." He looked down at where Lex's hands were clasping his and he blinked. "Lex!"

"What?" Lex gasped, "What is it?"

"I can see you," Clark whispered in awe.

"But... you already could," Lex pointed out cautiously.

Clark shook his head and looked up, twisting round to stare into concerned blue eyes, "Never solid before, Lex. I can really see you, no sunbeam, no translucency, just you." He grinned widely.

"Really?" Lex breathed hopefully. He stroked Clark's hair back as his lover nodded.

"Did your hair just move?" Jonathan said with another long blink.

"You're just noticing that now?" Clark asked slightly sarcastically. His father had the grace to flush.

"But why can he only touch you?" Martha asked in confusion.

"I don't know," Clark sighed, "And I don't really care, as long as he's with me."

"Hmm," Lex mused, "I wonder about that sometimes myself though."

Clark grinned. "Go then, expand," he urged his lover, knowing Lex wished he could find out.

"I'm not sure, but it could be something to do with my exposure to the meteor rock and that you're an alien," Lex said quietly, "And then there's the fact that neither of us wanted to be parted, who knows, maybe someone out there thought I'd been punished enough."

"If that was the case, you wouldn't have died," Clark whispered sorrowfully, "I think it's the meteor rock, it linked you to me somehow."

Even though she'd missed part of the conversation, Martha squeezed Clark's shoulder gently, "Don't forget you met just after the shower too, maybe that's when it started, after all you haven't had any other ghostly visitations from dead meteor mutants." Clark winced. "Sorry, Lex," she continued.

"It's fine," Lex said quietly, "It's fine, Clark. She could be right, we were in contact immediately after the shower, then you saved my life after the car crash... we belong together."

Clark smiled softly, "Yeah."

"What, Clark?" Martha asked.

"He thinks you're right," Clark murmured happily, nuzzling against Lex's cheek gently, "He says we belong together." His father snorted and Clark glared at him.

"Sorry," Jonathan muttered, "It's just going to take a bit of getting used to."

"I know," Clark sighed.

"Well, we'll manage," Martha said firmly, "We always do. Starting with the psychologist, I don't see how they can force you if we refuse permission."

"I don't know," Lex snorted, frowning thoughtfully, "That counsellor is a malicious bitch."

"Yeah," Clark agreed, "Miss Gray might get pushy, she doesn't like me."

"We'll deal with her," Martha replied, "You were right, most of the town isn't even gossiping about you any more, just the odd mention if you talk to Lex in public."

"Yeah," Jonathan started, "Son, is it really necessary to do that? I'm sure Lex would understand if you didn't."

Clark stared stonily at his father. "I know he would, but I'm not going to do that to him."

"Clark," Lex smiled at his lover and touched his shoulder gently, "Take it easy."

"I know, Lex, it's okay, but I just want to make them understand why I won't stop talking to you, okay?" Clark said quietly.

"Okay," Lex sighed. Clark was so determined that he didn't get hurt, he didn't seem to care about getting hurt himself. Well, maybe if his parents understood it _would_ make things easier.

"Mom, Dad, until I started to be able to hear him, Lex was completely alone. He had to watch me grieve without being to comfort me, without having me comfort him because I didn't even know he was there. I can't ignore him, ever," Clark tried to explain.

"Oh honey," Martha sighed, eyes shining, "It's okay, you can be the mad one, I don't mind." Clark gaped at her, then laughed.

"Thanks Mom," he whispered, smiling up into Lex's eyes.

"Once you go to college, things will change you know," Jonathan said quietly, worriedly.

"I know, Dad," Clark agreed, "And everything's going to be fine. Metropolis is a big city, people won't notice me. If I have to use my powers, Lex will watch my back, help me if I come into contact with meteor rock."

Lex nodded vigorously, intensely glad that they'd discovered he could take over Clark's body if necessary and not be affected by meteor rock. "You'd better believe it, you promised I could be your invisible sidekick, remember?"

Clark laughed happily, "Yeah, I remember." Lex stroked a hand through him and Clark shivered. "I, uh, I think I'm going to go lie down for a bit."

"Okay, honey," Martha smiled gently, "I am sorry."

"Thanks Mom," Clark smiled and hugged her quickly, then his father too who gave a startled gasp, but hugged him back. Clark grinned and hurried away to the loft. "Come on, Lex, I want to lie down and hold you, now that I can see you properly."

Lex smiled at his lover. Things might actually just work out for Clark. While it was true, school was still a little difficult, especially with the counsellor, Chloe and Pete still treated him normally, and now his parents believed them, maybe Chloe and Pete would too. More support for Clark. And once he got into college, things would be different, people would probably just assume he was on drugs and not give a rat's ass. "You know, I bet if you did the GED you could get into college now if you wanted," he said quietly as he curled up with Clark on the sofa bed.

"You think?" Clark asked, blinking in surprise.

"Yes," Lex answered seriously.

"We can't afford it though, not now," Clark sighed.

Lex grinned, "Sure you can. I was going to wait till your birthday, but, what the hell." He sat up and Clark sat up with him, looking confused.

"What, Lex?" Clark asked.

"Have a look under your desk," Lex said quietly.

Clark frowned and didn't move, scanned under his desk from where he was sitting. "There's some paper or something under the drawers, so what?"

Lex sighed and shook his head, "Go and look, for God's sake."

"Okay, okay," Clark shook his head, "I was just getting comfortable you know."

"It'll be worth..."

"Oh my God, Lex," Clark gasped, reading the letter and statement in shock, "Lex?"

"I knew I was dying, Clark, and I knew my father would never allow me to leave you anything in my will, so I set up that bank account for you secretly," Lex said quietly, smiling ruefully. He'd wanted so much to make sure Clark wanted for nothing when he was gone. "You would have received a letter on your eighteenth birthday telling you where to look."

"Yeah, but, but Lex it's _so_ much!" Clark gasped. Too much. His parents were going to freak.

"Not really," Lex said with a shrug. "It's up to you what you do with all of it, it's yours, if you don't want to tell your parents, don't."

"Come on, Lex, I have to," Clark whispered, still shocked. He sat back down on the bed and leaned into Lex's arms. "You're amazing, you know that?"

Lex grinned, "Of course I do, I'm Lex Luthor."

"No," Clark shook his head, "Just Lex. You know, Mom and Dad are going to have kittens."

"Why?"

Clark span round and grinned, "Hi guys." Chloe and Pete climbed the last couple of steps and joined them in the loft.

"What's up, Clark?" Pete said with a hesitant grin.

"Oh man, Lex just laid one on me," Clark sighed. Lex snorted.

"Oooh, details," Chloe said with a glint in her eye.

Clark sighed, "Not like that, Chloe, he gave me my eighteenth birthday present early."

"And how did he do that?" Pete asked doubtfully.

Clark raised an eyebrow, "He told me where it was."

"So, come on, Clark, what was it?" Chloe asked, bouncing excitedly on the balls of her feet. "What'd he give you?"

Clark looked back at Lex who shrugged. "It's your money, Clark, you can tell who you want. I don't mind."

"Ten million dollars," Clark whispered, still not really believing it himself.

Pete spluttered, "T-ten? Million? _Dollars_?!" Clark nodded.

"Whoa, talk about set for life," Chloe murmued. "Why can't I find a nice billionnaire to die for me." Clark sucked in a breath, pain hitting him square in the chest. Chloe winced, "Oh my God, Clark, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry."

Clark swallowed and shook his head, his throat tight with tears. Lex glared at the young blonde and wrapped his arms round his lover. "Hey, Clark, it's okay," he whispered.

"No, it's not, people are going to think that, aren't they? That I was your friend for the money," Clark snapped, sniffing and burrowing deeper into Lex's arms.

"Shoot," Pete mumbled, "Listen, we won't tell anyone, you know that. Just be discrete, it'll be fine. People won't notice anyway what with you talking to a ghost all the time."

Clark almost managed a laugh. "Yeah, I guess."

"I really am sorry, Clark," Chloe said again in a tiny voice.

"I know," Clark said quietly, "It's fine, or at least it will be when I get out of here."

"What do you mean?" Chloe asked warily.

"I'm going to do the GED, leave school now," Clark said quietly having now decided Lex was right, he _could_ do it, start over in a new place. And now he had the means to do it too. Lex smiled softly.

"Oh," Pete's face fell, "But Clark... no," he sighed, "Maybe you're right."

"How can you say that?" Chloe gasped.

"Because it's better for Clark," Pete replied. "You won't disappear though, right?" he asked Clark.

Clark smiled a little sadly, "You don't get off that easy, Pete. You're still the nutjob's best pal."

Pete winced at Clark's nickname, his least insulting nickname anyway, and nodded, "Good."

"Besides, college doesn't start till fall," Clark reminded them. He took Lex's hand and squeezed gently. "Thanks, Lex."

"What for?" Lex asked quietly.

"Loving me, believing in me," Clark whispered.

Lex leaned in to drop a gentle kiss on the top if his head, "You believed in me first, Clark, and I've loved you ever since."

Pete cleared his throat looking a little uncomfortable. "Um, so, Clark, still up for dirt biking tomorrow?"

"Definitely," Clark replied with a grin. "Look, guys, thanks for coming round and all, but I'm going to have to talk to my folks about this, college and the money."

"Sure, Clark," Chloe nodded, "See you tomorrow?" Clark nodded, "Uh, bye, Lex," she finished hesitantly.

Lex snorted and Clark elbowed him gently. "I suppose I should be happy at least someone's making an effort to include me in some small way."

"Yes, you should," Clark murmured, grinning at him. "See you guys," he said, turning his attention back to his friends.

"Later, Clark."

With a sigh, Clark leaned back against his lover and stared up at the ceiling. "They're not going to be happy," he whispered.

"Maybe, maybe not," Lex replied thoughtfully, "You're their son, Clark, your happiness is what's important to them." He blinked, "What a concept."

Wincing, Clark shifted his head back to stare into sad, blue eyes and grimaced ruefully. "I'm sorry, Lex, but it was his loss in the end you know."

"Thanks, Clark," Lex whispered, dropping a kiss on his lover's forehead. "Come on, get up, if you want to talk to your parents."

Clark grumbled half-heartedly. He knew he had to talk to his parents about the money and the decision he'd made, but he was comfortable and wanted to spend more time in Lex's arms, especially as those arms now looked as real to him as if Lex was alive. He got up nonetheless and skipped back down to the house. Finding his parents cuddling up on the couch brought him to a rapid halt.

"Uh, Mom? Dad?" he started hesitantly.

"What is it, Son?" Jonathan asked, gesturing for him to sit.

Clark slipped onto the armchair, gasping quietly when Lex unceremoniously plonked himself down in his lap. "Lex," he hissed.

Lex grinned unapologetically. "Sorry, Clark."

"Yeah right," Clark sighed, "Sorry, Mom, Dad, um, can I talk to you?"

"Of course, sweetheart," Martha replied with a nod.

"You know what we were saying about how things would change in college?" Clark started. They both nodded seriously. "Well, Lex and I were talking about it and he suggested that I could probably get into college now. I think... no, I _want_ to try."

Jonathan and Martha exchanged long looks and Lex tensed in Clark's lap, sliding a hand up around Clark's neck to squeeze reassuringly.

"But Clark, what about your friends here, and the farm, and..." Jonathan trailed off uncertainly and blinked apologetically, "Clark, I don't think we can afford to send you right now."

"I know, but that's the other thing I need to tell you," Clark said quietly, leaning into Lex's touch for comfort.

"Hey, look at it this way, at least he can't come after me with a shotgun for giving you an outrageous gift," Lex whispered with a soft smile. Clark grinned up at him and Lex caught his breath (out of habit not out of any need for air), green eyes staring up at him, substantiating him somehow.

"True," Clark laughed, "Well, guys, I'm glad you're sitting down."

"What is it, Clark?" Martha asked cautiously.

"Lex left me some money. He wasn't going to tell me till my birthday but, well, it's kind of a lot," Clark mumbled.

Jonathan stared at him and Clark realised his father was glaring at his lap. "How much money?" Jonathan asked.

"Um, well," Clark hesitated.

"Clark, I could have left you everything," Lex reminded him.

Choking, Clark nodded, "Um, well a fraction of what he wanted to leave me."

"Clark," Martha said warningly, "Stop avoiding the question."

"Tenmilliondollars," Clark said all in a rush.

"Wow, Clark, I think you broke them," Lex murmured in surprise at the Kents' reaction.

Clark cracked one eye open to see his parents staring at him, mouths open and unblinking. "Mom? Dad? Are you okay?"

"Ten m-million?" Jonathan stuttered eventually.

"Yeah, see I was thinking, I could pay off the mortgage and the loan, buy some new equipment, hire someone in to help you around the place..."

"Oh Clark, no, you can't," his mother interrupted him.

"Why not?" Clark asked quietly. "I want to."

"What does Lex say?" Jonathan asked a little coldly.

Lex sighed, "I told you before, it's your money to do with whatever you want. I think it's sensible to help out your parents. At least then you won't have to worry about them while you're in Metropolis."

"He thinks it's a good idea," Clark said defiantly, "He says it's my money, I can do what I like with it."

"Oh but, honey," Martha gasped, "That's so much for you to spend."

"No, it's not," Clark shook his head, "Anyway, how many things have I broken over the years? How much more food than a normal kid do I eat? I _want_ to help you guys out. If you don't let me, I don't see how I can leave and go to college at _all_."

"Oooh, emotional blackmail," Lex whispered, "Watch who gets blamed for that."

"Lex," Clark sighed, "That's no help." Lex kissed his cheek in silent apology and Clark stroked his back gently.

"I just don't know, I mean _that_ much money, and you spending so much on us," Jonathan said slowly.

"It's a couple of hundred thousand, max. Hardly breaking the bank," Lex snorted. Clark poked him.

"Seriously, Lex, will you stop? That's a lot of money to us, remember?" Clark said with a scowl.

"Sorry, sorry, I just want you to be happy, and I don't think you can be happy here anymore," Lex sighed quietly.

"I know," Clark replied, leaning his head on Lex's shoulder. "Mom, Dad, I just want everything to be all right, you know?"

"I know, honey," Martha sighed, "We'll work it out tomorrow, it's getting late."

"Okay," Clark nodded, "Goodnight, guys." He got up and took Lex's hand, heading back to the barn.

"It will be all right, you know," Lex said quietly, watching Clark strip off. He concentrated briefly to remove the appearance of clothing and slid onto the bed with his lover.

"I guess," Clark sighed, rolling over to pull Lex into his arms. They kissed softly and Clark closed his eyes. "I just don't want to worry about it anymore."

"I know," Lex murmured. He reached up and stroked Clark's hair gently. "Sleep, love." Clark nodded.

@>*~

"Having fun?" Clark yelled as wind whipped past his head.

"Kinda," Lex yelled back, holding on tight to his lover. There was something about already being dead that took the thrill out of things like dirt-biking. He wondered that Clark didn't feel the same, after all, it wasn't as though he could get hurt. It had always been the risk of getting hurt, or even dying that had made activities like this attractive to Lex when he'd been alive. Clark hitting a fallen tree put an end to his thoughts as his lover flipped over the front of the bike and disappeared down a hole. "Shit," he muttered.

Clark gasped when he hit the ground. Not that the fall had hurt of course, it was just a shock. A noise startled him and he looked up. "Lana?" he said in confusion as a dark haired girl approached him.

"Don't move," the girl said.

"Clark, are you okay?" Lex asked worriedly, dropping down next to him.

Clark smiled up at Lex and nodded, "Don't worry, Lex, I'm fine."

"Lex?" the girl muttered, "Oh dear, you must have hit your head." She dropped down to her knees next to him and felt his head.

"No, I'm fine," Clark protested.

"You're in shock. You fell over a hundred feet." She knelt down and ripped open his shirt. Clark blinked, pulling away.

"Hey," Lex exclaimed in surprise.

"You don't have a scratch on you," she said with a frown.

Clark sat up. "Uh, just lucky I guess."

"That's some incredible luck you have," she said quietly.

"Where'd you come from?" Clark asked curiously, looking around.

"I was just over there doing some research for my Grandfather. The landslide must've opened up that wall," she replied.

"I didn't even know there were caves down here," Clark said, looking round, "Would you look at this place, Lex."

"Yeah, pretty amazing," Lex murmured.

"Um, I'm Kyla by the way," she said hesitantly.

Clark paused and got up, staring at her a little dubiously. There was something weird about her. "Uh, Clark, Clark Kent."

"The invincible Clark Kent apparently," she said looking him up and down appraisingly.

"I don't think I like her," Lex said with a frown. She was touching Clark altogether too much and, really, she'd seen too much.

"Clark! Clark, you down there?" Pete's voice echoed into the cave. "Lex, with you?"

"Yeah, Pete, we're both down here," Clark called back.

"Hey man, you gonna need some help or can you jump your way out?"

Clark and Lex both winced and Clark chuckled nervously. "I've got some company down here," he called, then turned to Kyla, "Funny guy, huh?"

"Idiot more like," Lex snapped.

"All right, man," Pete called down. "As long as you're all right." Lex snorted.

"Be nice, Lex," Clark murmured.

"Um," Kyla frowned, "Lex?"

"Oh, wait you haven't heard about me?" Clark laughed, "Hey Lex, not everyone in town knows about that loony Kent boy."

"Clark," Lex said warningly, putting his arm round his lover and squeezing gently. "Don't do that."

"Sorry," Clark sighed. He smiled at Kyla, "Sorry, I, uh, guess I'm just used to people around here gossiping about me."

"Ah," Kyla nodded, "I think I know what you're talking about. So, uh, do you really talk to ghosts?"

"No, just Lex," Clark said quietly, feeling a little uncomfortable. 

"Oh my God," she said.

Clark shifted, but she walked past him, shining her torch at the wall. "What is it?" he asked, sharing a look with Lex.

"It's the legend of Numan," she whispered in awe, "My ancestors have passed down this story for generations. They said it had been written in the earth long ago, but nobody ever knew where it was until now. Thank you."

Lex raised an eyebrow and Clark shrugged. "Sure, no problem."

"You don't understand," she said turning to him. "My grandfather's been searching for this wall his whole life. It was prophesied that Numan would fall from the skies in a rain of fire," she continued, pointing the beam of her torch at a crude drawing of a man falling from the sky. "They say that Numan will have the strength of ten men and will be able to start fires with his eyes."

"Holy shit, Clark," Lex gasped.

Clark stared wide eyed at the cave paintings and nodded, "Yeah."

"It probably sounds silly," Kyla finished, pointing her torch at a picture of a man shooting fire from his eyes.

"Not to me," Clark murmured.

"Clark, this is amazing," Lex said, staring round, then back at his lover, "How are you feeling?"

"I don't know, Lex," Clark sighed.

Kyla frowned at him and shook her head. "I've got to tell my grandfather about this. Come on, I'll show you the way out. Try and keep up."

Clark nodded and started to follow her. As he turned, he spotted an octagonal shaped hole in the wall, just like the one on his ship. "Lex, look," he hissed.

Lex nodded, he'd seen it too. To say he was stunned was an understatement, but he was also excited. Anything that could help Clark find out more about who he might be was fantastic. Maybe they could find out why Clark could see him, why they could feel each other.

@>*~

"What should I do?" Clark asked, frowning at his lover.

Lex sighed. "I don't know, you should tell your parents though, don't you think?" he asked, wrapping an arm round Clark as they walked slowly back to the farm.

"Yeah, I guess," Clark murmured. He shook his head, "It's all so much, Lex, I mean that octagonal hole, the writing on the wall is just like the writing on the tablet Dad pulled out of the ship before it closed up... it's got to be related to me, but how?"

"I suppose the legend could be true, maybe you're not the first of your people to come to Earth," Lex mused.

"Do you think there could be others like me out there now?" Clark asked a little nervous and uncertain about the thought.

Lex tugged him to a stop and pulled him into a hug, he knew Clark was freaking out. "I don't know, love, maybe. But I doubt it."

"Why?" Clark asked with a frown.

"You were obviously sent to this area for a reason," Lex said quietly, "The caves for one, who knows why else. There are no other aliens, Clark, just meteor mutants, and I would have thought anyone from your planet would come here too."

Clark sighed, Lex was probably right. He nodded, "It was just a thought."

"I know, Clark, and I'm sorry," Lex grimaced and kissed Clark's cheek gently, "But you're not alone, you know that."

"Yeah," Clark whispered, burying his face in Lex's neck, "I do. I love you."

Lex smiled softly, "I love you too."

"How do you do that?"

Clark pulled back and span round, staring in surprise at Kyla. "Huh?"

"That's really weird you know, you looked like you were actually holding someone," she continued, frowning at him.

"Yeah, Lex," Clark sighed. She raised an eyebrow and Clark shrugged sharing a glance with Lex, "Did you want something?"

"My grandfather would like to meet you," she said quietly.

"Why?" Clark asked, a little suspicious at how quickly she'd got home, spoken to her grandfather and got back to them, even if they had been walking slowly.

"He wants to thank you for helping us find the caves," she replied with a smile, stepping closer to put a hand on his arm.

"Hey," Lex exclaimed as Clark pulled away from her. "I wish she'd stop touching you, there's something about the way she does it that freaks me out."

"Lex, don't worry," Clark said softly, feeling his lover wrap him in an embrace from behind. He looked round, "Don't get jealous on me."

"Jealous?" Lex snorted, "Of _her_?"

"Lex," Clark chuckled quietly. "Um, thanks Kyla, but it's not necessary, it was an accident after all."

"Please," Kyla blinked at him appealingly, "He said it was important, but I'm afraid I don't know why."

"I, uh," Clark paused, "What do you think, Lex?" he asked.

"Might as well go," Lex said, "Maybe you can find out more about the caves from this guy. Just watch her."

Clark snickered, "Sure Lex, don't worry." Lex poked him hard and Clark managed not to yelp. He cleared his throat, "Okay, Kyla, lead the way." They followed the young woman back towards the caves.

"He's meeting us there, he wanted to see the paintings," she explained.

"Right," Lex drawled, but he watched the young woman carefully. He really _didn't_ like her and the way she kept looking at his lover.

They descended into the caves again, following the young woman. "Grandfather?" she called out.

"Up here, look at this." Came a voice from above them. Clark and Lex looked up as Kyla shone her torch up the cave wall. The was a weird painting of a two headed creature that looked a little snake-like.

"What is it?" Clark asked.

"It's Ziget. He's like a brother to Numan, his closest friend. According to legend, he will turn against Numan and together they will be the balance between good and evil," the old man explained.

"I _beg_ your pardon," Lex snapped, "How dare they..."

"Lex, calm down, it's obviously wrong," Clark said quickly, just as insulted and shocked as Lex.

The old man peered down at them curiously. "You really do talk to a ghost."

Clark sighed, "Yeah, I do."

"Amazing," he murmured and started to make his way down to the ground. "And what makes you think the legend is wrong?"

"You mean apart from the obvious Cain and Abel reference?" Lex snorted.

"Lex," Clark whispered with a frown, "Come on, I think we should go." He was worried that he might reveal something he shouldn't if they stayed any longer.

"Oh, no, I don't think that you should," the old man said firmly, "Kyla." He nodded at his granddaughter who immediately blocked their way.

"What the hell?" Lex gasped.

"You can't keep me here," Clark said quietly.

"Only one person may get past Kyla, only one could survive a fall the way you did, only one could talk to a ghost," the old man returned, eyes bright with unnerving zeal.

Swallowing hard, Clark backed away, "I don't know what you mean."

"You are Numan." The old man bowed his head, "My name is Joseph Willowbrook and I have been waiting for you."

"What?!" Clark gasped, "That's ridiculous, how can you think..."

"Do not deny it, young man," Willowbrook interrupted, "It was your destiny to come here, your destiny to meet Kyla."

"Oh no," Lex muttered, pulling at his lover, "This is so wrong." It was horrifyingly clear where this was going.

"You see." The old man pointed his torch at another drawing, "The woman who is your true one." The picture showed a young woman with a turquoise square beneath her. Lex glanced over to Kyla to see a bracelet on her arm with the same turquoise.

"It was handed down through the women of my family," Kyla said softly, stroking it.

"You're wrong about me," Clark whispered, hoping to get away without hurting anyone.

"I don't think so," Willowbrook said firmly.

"Clark, you have to get out of here," Lex said urgently, worried for his lover.

"No, Lex, _we_ do," Clark said quietly. Lex smiled briefly and kissed Clark's cheek, then pushed at him. Clark jolted forward, almost falling and Kyla suddenly shifted, leaping at him. Clark caught her, having to use his speed. He struggled for a second, she was incredibly strong, then threw her across the cave.

"I knew it," Willowbrook breathed. He approached Clark, taking his arm before he could speed away. "You _are_ Numan."

"Great," Lex sighed.

"I... I don't know," Clark whispered, not pulling away in case he hurt the old man. "But if I am, your legends are wrong."

Willowbrook frowned, "I don't think so."

"I know so," Clark snapped, "Lex was my best friend, he didn't turn against me, he died! He died loving me, and I loved him. Except he never left and we're together again and we still love each other, do you understand that? Kyla is _not_ my true one, Lex is, even if he is dead." Clark sucked in a breath, shocked at his outburst, how much he'd revealed.

Lex wrapped an arm round his lover and leaned into him. "I love you," he whispered. Clark smiled tightly at him and patted his hand.

"Then this is not mine," Kyla said from beside them. She held out the bracelet and Clark took it, his hands shaking.

"Lex, what... do you want..." Clark broke off, not knowing what to say. It seemed stupid offering something like this to Lex when he could never wear it.

Lex sighed, tears stinging his eyes at the hopelessness he felt. "I wish I could wear it, love," he whispered. He reached forward and passed his arm through the bracelet. There was a flash and an explosion and then the sensation of something tightening round his wrist.

"Lex?!" Clark yelled in a panic, the explosion had left the cave full of dust, Willowbrook and Kyla were coughing loudly, and he couldn't see his lover. "Lex, where are you?"

"Here, Clark, I'm here it's okay," Lex said quickly, staring at his arm in confusion. He felt solid somehow, a little like the way he felt when he shared Clark's body, and it was the strangest sensation.

"Oh my God," Willowbrook whispered, "What was that? Who was that?" As the dust cleared, Lex realised that Willowbrook and Kyla were staring directly at him. "Who are you?"

"You can see me?" Lex gasped.

"Yes," Willowbrook nodded.

"And you?" Lex asked Kyla. She nodded, wide eyed. "Clark, I don't understand."

Clark shook his head and moved forward to his lover, catching him about the waist. "Neither do I, but does it matter?" He smiled and nuzzled Lex's neck, "You feel the same." He kissed his lover, "You taste the same." Then Clark grinned, "Oh my God, Lex they can see you, I'm really not mad."

Lex raised an eyebrow, "You actually still had doubts?"

"No," Clark laughed, "But still, it's awesome."

"Um, so, you're Lex Luthor?" Kyla asked hesitantly.

"Yes, I am," Lex nodded, "Would you come here a moment?"

With a glance at her grandfather, Kyla approached him warily. Lex held out his hand and she reached out slowly, before taking it. Lex gasped, "You can touch me, I can feel you."

"You feel human to me," Kyla said quietly.

"Lex, this, this is so amazing," Clark breathed, starting to feel lightheaded.

"Don't get too excited," Lex said quietly, letting go of Kyla's hand, "We don't know what's happened, if it's permanent or temporary, how long it'll last if it is temporary..." Clark's face fell and Lex sighed, putting his hand on his lover's cheek gently. "I'm sorry, but you know me, I can't help thinking about these things."

"I know," Clark nodded and kissed his lover's cheek. "Lex," he stopped and blinked at him. Even though it was a fantastic development, he was actually going to miss having Lex to himself and he didn't know how to say it.

"What is it?" Lex asked gently.

"I just... do you remember when we talked about me being selfish because I..." Clark huffed out a breath in frustration.

"Because you liked having me all to yourself?" Lex finished for him. Clark nodded. "I know, Clark, I'm not sure I want to be stuck in solid form. I mean, what if someone sees me and tells my father?" Clark's eyes widened in horror.

"Oh God, no," Clark gasped. "That can't ever happen, he'd, he'd take you away from me." He frowned against tears and pulled Lex closer. Then he glared at Kyla and Willowbrook, "No one can know about this, do you understand, no one!"

"You don't have to threaten us, Numan," Willowbrook said softly, "We are your people, we will always keep your secrets."

Flushing in embarrassment, Clark ducked his head. "Thank you," he murmured.

"I, uh," Kyla cleared her throat. "I don't know what it might do, but there is a switch next to the turquoise on the right side. It always made me feel strange when I pushed it."

Lex lifted his arm and stared at the bracelet. She was right there was some kind of a switch on it. He glanced at Clark and raised an eyebrow. Clark shook his head looking panicked, but Lex pushed it anyway. Nothing happened.

"He's gone," Kyla breathed.

"He's right here," Clark said with a frown, sharing a confused look with his lover.

"No, I'm afraid, to us, Lex is no longer here," Willowbrook said quietly.

"Well, that answers that question," Lex mused with a smirk. "Guess I'm all yours again, lover."

Clark grinned at him, a wicked gleam in his eyes. "Is that right?" he murmured, "What if I want to keep it that way?"

"No problems there, Clark," Lex chuckled, "I think I prefer it this way myself. Besides, you know I'm yours anyway."

"Yeah," Clark replied with a smile. He pulled Lex close again and kissed him. "Um, Mr. Willowbrook, Kyla, it was nice to meet you, and thank you for the bracelet, but I, uh, _we_ , really have to be going now."

Willowbrook smiled, "It's Joseph, and we understand. I'm sure we shall see you very soon." He nodded at them and Clark nodded back.

"Hold on tight, Lex," Clark murmured and sped home, his lover clinging to him. In the barn, he let go and backed up slightly. "Lex?"

"Yeah." Lex smiled knowingly and concentrated, getting rid of his clothes before he pushed the switch on the bracelet again. They both wanted to know if there'd be a difference when they made love.

Mouth parting so he could lick his lips, Clark let his eyes roam over his lover's body, all pale and lean, toned and beautiful. God, he _loved_ being able to see Lex, loved that they were still together. He pressed his hand to his crotch, trying to ease the pressure of his growing erection against his pants. Lex's eyes went dark and he stumbled over to his lover, catching him in his arms again to kiss him hard.

Clark's tongue pushed into his mouth, licking and tasting deeply and Lex groaned quietly. His cock was hard and aching and he wanted to feel Clark inside him, the one thing they hadn't tried yet. Rubbing up against his lover's groin, Lex grimaced at the roughness of Clark's jeans. "Over-dressed," he mumbled into Clark's mouth, even as he wrapped an arm round Clark's neck and rocked against him. Clark nodded and frantically tried to undress whilst still clinging to Lex and without breaking the intense kiss they were fighting for control of.

Laughing, Lex pushed at Clark's shirt, then unzipped his pants for him, something he couldn't normally do. It made a nice change being able to participate just that little bit more. As his pants slipped down his legs, they stumbled back and Clark found himself on his back on the sofabed, Lex sprawled on top of him, pressed between his legs, skin somehow different and yet the same.

"Lex," Clark breathed, stroking his hands down his lover's back to feel everything that he could, all the smooth skin that was actually a little cooler than when Lex was a ghost. They rocked together, Lex clutching at Clark's hair, kissing, nipping at his lips, plunging deep inside to taste his lover, everything the same yet more intense.

"Mmm, Clark, want you to fuck me," Lex moaned. Clark groaned, arching into him, hands tightening on his hips. "Is that a yes?" he asked breathily.

"Oh God yeah," Clark replied, bucking urgently against his lover. He pushed at Lex, rolling them over, and kicked his pants off his feet.

"Socks," Lex muttered, "You are not fucking me with socks on!"

Giggling slightly, Clark hurriedly tugged his socks off and glanced round for the lube they used when they jerked off together. Happily, Clark settled back between Lex's legs and pushed them back and apart. He squeezed lube onto his fingers and leaned down to kiss Lex deeply as he slid one slick finger over the entrance to his lover's body.

"Clark," Lex moaned, the coolness of Clark's touch a bit of a surprise in contrast to the heat that shot up his spine. "Yes, please," he groaned as his lover's finger pushed into him slowly, electricity sparking through him.

The heat of Lex was amazing and Clark felt his cock jerk and drool with the thought that he was going to be inside that, inside Lex, almost as real as if his lover was still alive, only somehow better because now Lex was all his and only his. That thought was nearly enough to send Clark over the edge and he wasn't nearly ready for that.

"Fuck, Lex, I need you," Clark groaned, pushing another finger inside his lover to stretch him probably too quickly.

Grunting in mild discomfort, Lex nodded. He didn't want to wait any longer. "Fuck me, Clark," he said, staring up at his lover's green, glazed eyes.

Pulling free, Clark slid his hand once over his cock, too close to be able to stand more than than that brief touch. He moved a little lower and pushed, sliding into Lex in one swift stroke.

Pain flared through Lex's body and he gripped Clark's arms tightly. "Stop," he yelped. Clark froze, expression panicked and Lex hastened to reassure him. "S'good, just let me adjust," he whispered, breathing deeply. As he relaxed, he smiled at his lover. "I like being able to feel, okay?" he said, lifting his head to kiss Clark hard.

Clark sighed in relief and kissed back, having to stop like that had helped his control anyway, at least he was going to last more than a couple of strokes... just. Moving slowly, Clark pulled back, gasping at the sensation of Lex's ass clenching around him, then thrust forward again deep into the tight heat of him.

"God, you feel amazing," Clark panted, thrusting again as Lex began to move with him, meeting his strokes, hips rocking up against him.

"Yeah," Lex groaned. It _was_ amazing, Clark's cock stretched him, a mild burning merely enhancing the pleasure of his lover actually fucking him. He tugged at Clark's hips, encouraging him to move faster, plunge harder into his body, wanting to feel everything, ecstatic tension building in his groin, dick bouncing on his stomach with every stroke.

Clark needed to touch, to feel everything while Lex was substantial. Lex felt solid to him normally, solid, soft and warm but that was all, things like sweat and saliva and come were normally missing, and Clark wanted all of it. He pushed himself up so he could see his lover's face, still such a precious thing to him after so long without, his free hand stroking down Lex's body. Trailing his fingers through the precome spattered on his lover's belly was fantastic, the texture of it, the warmth... Clark plunged harder into the smaller man with a groan of overwhelming need.

Moving with his lover, Lex stifled a cry as a big hand wrapped round his cock, slick and hot, pumping him to the same rhythm as Clark's fucking, getting faster and more erratic as he felt Clark's climax building. "God, Clark," he moaned, jerking back and forth between his lover's hand and cock, feeling like he was about to explode. Clark bent his head and kissed him hard, wet heat filling him as his younger lover shuddered and groaned over him, hand squeezing him tightly. With a quiet groan, Lex let go, coming, back arching up into Clark, pulling him deeper until he felt like they'd merged into one.

Gradually, Clark's breathing slowed and he lifted his head to kiss Lex's cheek. "That's the first time I've really felt you come," he whispered in awe.

"Mmm," Lex drawled almost managing a smirk, "Weren't you saying something not so long ago about tasting my come?" To his surprise, Clark sat up between his legs and stared down at him. "What?" he asked almost feeling nervous under the intense scrutiny.

Smiling evilly, Clark shrugged, "Nothing," he said, "You're right." Grinning again, Clark shifted down and licked Lex's come streaked stomach, moaning quietly at actually being able to taste his lover. Enthusiastically, he licked Lex clean, then kissed his navel and sat up again.

"You're amazing," Lex murmured, blinking at the younger man.

"Yeah," Clark said with a nod, feeling very self-satisfied.

Lex chuckled, "Don't look so smug, _you_ have to sleep in the wet spot."

"Oh man," Clark complained. Then he grinned, "You know, I think I can cope, but how about you switch to invisibility mode, I want to make sure you're all mine tonight."

"I don't think anyone is likely to walk in on us," Lex commented in amusement.

Clark stared at his lover in horror, "Don't say..."

"Clark?"

"Fuck," Clark sighed, hanging his head as he speeded into his clothes and Lex hurriedly flipped the switch on his bracelet. He looked up as footsteps sounded on the loft stairs and forced a smile. "Hi Lana."

"What the hell does she want?" Lex snapped grouchily, his post-coital bliss now a memory.

Clark couldn't quite help a smirk, but was wondering the same thing. Lana had barely spoken to him since before everything with Lex had come out, he'd presumed because he'd pretty much been avoiding her, and then of course it _had_ all come out and Chloe and Pete had been the only ones to speak to him after that. He put a hand on Lex's thigh and hushed him quietly.

"What's up?" he asked.

"I uh, I guess I realised I haven't been much of a friend to you lately," Lana started hesitantly.

"Oh?" Clark blinked at her, wondering where this could be coming from all of a sudden.

Lex glowered at the girl in annoyance. Not only was her timing awful as always, but he had the impression she was back to her 'fall back on Clark in time of need because he's convenient and has a crush on me' mode of operation. "No, you haven't," he muttered, "And if you know what's good for you, you'll carry on that way."

Blinking again, Clark turned to his lover and raised an eyebrow inquiringly. "Jealous much?" he murmured, not quite laughing because he knew it would get him into trouble.

Shifting, Lex got up off the bed, stretching until Clark's jaw slackened and his eyes glazed over with lust. Then he deliberately reconstructed the illusion of clothes. "Jealous of what, exactly?" he drawled dangerously.

"Bastard," Clark whispered, shaking his head to try and regain some control before he turned back to Lana. She was staring at him curiously.

"Is Lex here?" she asked.

"Lex is always here," Clark replied quietly, smiling back at his lover who finally smiled back.

Lana looked a little disturbed and Lex chuckled, moving round behind her and poking out his tongue even though it was childish.

"Oh," she said, looking round as if she could see him. "Well, I, I guess I can understand now why you were always keeping secrets, I'm sorry I was judgemental."

"She thinks _this_ is your secret?" Lex said derisively, "But she's only coming to you now, what does she want?" he continued almost to himself, instantly suspicious.

Clark was a little insulted that Lex immediately assumed that she wanted something and wasn't just apologising, and he glared at the smaller man. "That's okay," he said with a half shrug, "You believe me then?"

"Yeah, I think so," she said with a smile, "I've watched you, you know... talking to him." She blushed suddenly and looked round, "Is he listening?" she asked.

Lex pulled a face but Clark nodded. "Yeah," he replied.

"Is it true, I mean that you two are..." she trailed off again.

"What, fucking?" Lex snapped, "Yes, we're a big pair of fags, now will you go away?!"

"Lex!" Clark gasped, unable to quite believe what his lover had said. He knew that Lex was just mad because Lana was there and he was, whether he liked it or not, a bit jealous of her, but it twisted up inside his gut, painful and tight. "How can you say something like that?" he breathed.

Staring at the younger man, Lex grimaced, knowing that he'd upset Clark with his thoughtless reaction, but sometimes, with the treatment Clark got at school and in town, he wanted to do more than just rail ineffectually, he wanted to hurt people for what they did to his lover. But Lex didn't want Clark to get hurt too.

"Oh God, I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?" she gasped.

"Everything is not always about you, _Princess_ ," Lex sneered before he could stop himself. He sighed, not quite able to look at his lover.

"That's enough, Lex," Clark said stonily. He needed all the friends he could get but he didn't want Lex reacting like a spoilt brat because he was jealous and annoyed.

"Maybe I should go," Lana said tentatively.

Lex barely stopped himself from agreeing with her, clamping his mouth shut.

"No, it's okay," Clark muttered, "You obviously wanted to talk, let's go somewhere else. See you later, Lex."

Lex stared in horror and confusion as his lover got up and walked away from him with Lana. _Lana_! Of all the times to leave him on his own and of all the people to go with. He swallowed convulsively, glad for once of his ghost body because he felt like he might be sick, or cry... or both. How had one visit from one stupid little girl made everything go so wrong?

Sitting back down on the bed, Lex put his head in his hands. He didn't know what to do. It wasn't as if he'd ever had a good relationship when he was _alive_ , now that he was dead, what rights did that give him? How could he really expect Clark to be with a ghost for the rest of his life?

He'd had doubts before about allowing this to continue, especially once he'd had undeniable proof that he _was_ real and not a figment of Clark's imagination, but Lex loved Clark and he'd always been selfish, had wanted his lover to himself, regardless of the damage it was doing, because Clark had always seemed so certain.

But maybe that didn't matter and maybe Lex loved Clark enough to let him go now his life was back on track.

@>*~

Clark's heart clenched in his chest as soon as he left the barn and Lex hadn't come after him, not to apologise, not to yell, nothing. He barely heard Lana's babbling until he suddenly realised that they were in the graveyard and she was asking about her parents.

"Oh my God," he said, staring at her.

"What?" she asked.

Clark shook his head. "My God, Lex was right, you're only interested in talking to me when you can get something out of me."

"That's not..."

"Save it, Lana," Clark snorted, "I can't believe I defended you to him, walked out on him." He shook his head again. "I can't see ghosts, Lana, only Lex and only because I'm in love with him, okay?" Not waiting for an answer, or even a reaction, Clark turned and hurried back to the farm, barely pausing to wave at his mother through the kitchen window before he speeded to the barn and up to the loft.

"Lex?" he said, looking round. He couldn't see his lover. "Lex, come out, please, I'm sorry okay? But you said some nasty..." There was a letter on the bed and Clark's breath hitched in sudden panic. He sat down and picked up the paper.

'Dear Clark, I want you to know that I love you, and it's because I love you that I'm leaving. Not because we argued, not because you walked away, but because I love you too much to keep holding you back like this. I always hoped that we could just be together, tried to ignore the way life just got worse for you the more time we spent together, but I can't any more.  
You will be better off, Clark. I promise, you'll understand once things start getting back to normal. I'm not sorry for the time we had, I'm too selfish, but I am sorry that your life got so complicated. I just want you to be happy and I don't think you can be with a ghost. Yours always, Lex.'

"Oh God," Clark gasped, his breath hitching, chest clenching with pain and tears. He crumpled the letter in one hand as he dropped to the floor on his knees and screamed. There was no way he could go through this again, no way he could cope with losing Lex for a second time. "Lex!" he shouted, "Come back, oh God." Falling forward onto his hands, Clark sucked in a shuddering breath as his mother and father raced up the stairs.

"Clark? Oh my God, Clark?" His mother's voice sounded shrill with panic and she dropped down next to him to pull him into a hug. Clark grabbed on tight and sobbed into her shoulder, feeling like his heart was breaking all over again, only this time with the knowledge that Lex had willingly left him. Mutely, Clark lifted his hand, feeling his father take the note.

"Dear God," his father breathed.

"It was just a stupid argument," Clark whispered, "Why would he suddenly think he's no good for me?"

"He _is_ a ghost, Clark," his father said softly, "Were you really going to commit your whole life to someone only you can see and talk to?"

"Yes," Clark said desperately, "You don't understand, Dad, he's not just a ghost to me, he's my best friend, he's my lover, he's," Clark faltered, he just didn't have the words for what Lex meant to him, "Everything."

His mother eased back and took the note from his father to read it in her turn. "Oh honey," she sighed, "He must have been worrying about this for a while, worrying about your relationship. If you walk away from him, you still have us, friends, people, he only has you." She grimaced apologetically and Clark started to cry again, he hadn't even thought of that. "I can't quite believe I'm saying this, but you should go find him," she finished.

"Martha?" Jonathan blinked at her.

"Oh hush you, even if he is a ghost, he can still have a broken heart," Martha returned with a look, "And so can Clark."

"Thanks Mom," Clark sighed, "But I don't even know where to start."

"Well that speed of yours must have some use," she snorted.

Clark blinked and stood up, nodding his head. He had to find Lex and convince him to stay, there was no other option. 

@>*~

Surprisingly, it didn't take Clark long to find Lex, but for some reason he couldn't quite shake the feeling that Lex wouldn't go anywhere without looking at the caves again. And he was right.

"I don't know where you get off leaving after one lousy argument," he managed to say casually, making his way over to his lover.

Lex tensed. He should have known it was a bad idea stopping off at the caves, but he hadn't been able to resist. "I told you it wasn't because of that," he replied quietly.

"Really?" Clark snorted quietly, standing right next to Lex, somehow managing to resist touching him. "So your rampant insecurity _didn't_ raise its ugly head and persuade you to leave me before I could leave you?"

All sorts of denials and angry retorts flowed through Lex and he opened his mouth to let some of them out, but found he suddenly couldn't speak. His throat closed up and Lex shut his mouth again, shaking his head.

"My life was already complicated," Clark said quietly, "My life was never normal and you know it. How many times do I have to tell you this? I _love_ you. I've risked losing everything for you because I happen to think you're worth it dead or alive and I'm never leaving you, so you'd better get used to the idea. Because wherever you go, I'll find you, and giving me that money makes that even easier for me to do just that."

Lex sighed, wanting to give in so much, especially as the argument had been his fault in the first place, but he still wasn't so sure Clark wouldn't be better off without him.

Staring at his lover, Clark felt a stab of despair at the lack of response. He racked his brain desperately for something to convince Lex, something that hadn't been said before. It was useless. Looking round for inspiration, Clark suddenly saw the painting of the bracelet and something inside him clicked. "Fine, take off the bracelet," he said, feigning nonchalance.

"What?" Lex almost choked on the pain that clutched at him.

"The bracelet," Clark held out his hand and made a beckoning gesture.

Swallowing hard, Lex lifted his arm and tried to take the bracelet off. It didn't budge. He couldn't even get it to slide up and down his arm. "I, I can't," he whispered. Looking up, Lex realised Clark was smiling at him.

"I know," Clark whispered, sliding his hand over the bracelet, shivering at a slight tingling sensation.

"What do you mean, you know?" Lex asked, confused.

"You can't take it off because you belong to me," Clark breathed, "Dead or alive, we were meant to be together forever, that's why there's a switch."

Lex blinked. "Wait, what?" he asked with a frown, "How do you know that?"

"I," Clark shrugged, grimacing slightly, "I just do. Lex, please, please believe me now, please just let me love you."

Turning to his lover, Lex sighed and rested his head on Clark's shoulder. "Together forever? Are your people into masochism then?"

Clark snickered quietly. "Well, you can be a pain in the ass," he murmured, wrapping his arms round the smaller man, "But I told you, I happen to think you're worth it."

Lex snorted. "I can't believe you did that, letting me think you really wanted it back," he said, looking up at Clark with a mild glare.

"Hey, you deserved it," Clark retorted, "Leaving me like that! Christ Lex, I wasn't even mad that you were being rude to Lana, I was hurt about the way you put it," Clark sighed and clung a little harder to his lover, "And I was hurt that you didn't come after me too," he admitted in a small voice.

"I was too busy being floored that you walked out on me with Lana of all people," Lex almost snapped.

"So you _are_ jealous of her," Clark said softly.

Lex sighed. "Yes, okay, yes I'm _little_ jealous of her, can you blame me?"

"I guess not," Clark said, kissing the top of Lex's head gently, "But there's no reason for you to be, you know that." Lex shrugged and Clark sighed softly, "Lex, even if you weren't still with me I wouldn't want her any more, it was a childhood crush, that's all."

"Yeah, I know," Lex said with a nod, lifting up slightly so he could hug his lover back, "I'm sorry, it just really made me feel like I was holding you back, ruining your life. I couldn't bear to cause you pain," he whispered.

"Then don't ever leave me again," Clark whispered back, "I thought you were dead once and it almost destroyed me, I could not bear it if I lost you again." 

Lex lifted his head and stared at Clark with a quizzical frown. "You just ripped that off," he gasped.

"I did not," Clark retorted.

"You did!" Lex insisted, "Princess Buttercup to Wesley after the fireswamp!"

Clark huffed out a noisy breath, "Fine, you're probably right, but I don't remember."

Lex smirked at his lover, grinning when he heard Clark mutter something that sounded something very close to 'smartass'.

"Let's just go home," Clark sighed, unable to help grinning back at the older man.

"That's a plan," Lex agreed. He took Clark's proffered hand and they started to walk out of the caves. "So," he ventured, "What _did_ Lana want to talk about?" he asked casually.

Gritting his teeth, Clark stared in front of him determinedly. "Her parents and whether or not I could see them," he said quietly. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Lex smirk and gear up to reply and he hurried to stop him, "Don't even, Lex, if I so much as sense an 'I told you so' from you, you can sleep on the couch for the rest of the week!"

Lex was an intelligent man, and while he didn't really need to sleep any more, he enjoyed being wrapped in Clark and dozing every night so he shut up and continued to walk beside his lover in quiet contentment.

@>*~

**Author's Note:**

> I really wish I could remember where I was going with this. It would have been nice to continue it. Ah well it has been eight years after all!


End file.
